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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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travis84 Offline
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My annoying mother - February 4th 2011, 06:58 AM

I'm going to say a list of things that annoy me about my mother and I need some advice on how to confront her and tell her what things about her annoy me.

Here are some things that are annoying about my mother.
1. She has a bladder problem and it interferes with my social and educational life (i know she can't help it but she won't admit she has a problem and she won't go to the doctor to tell them about it to fix it)
2. She nags me CONSTANTLY. I know every teenager says this but my mother has a special kind of nagging. She doesn't stop for anything. She doesn't care whats going on she will constantly nag. I'm not saying im a perfect child and there is nothing to nag me about but she will not leave me alone for one minute. I constantly have headaches and I can't focus on anything because apparently there is that many things wrong with me, so she says.
3. She is extremely immature. She is a 53 year old women and she acts like a 12 year old at times. I know I am more mature than her and sometimes I feel like i'm the adult in this relationship.
4. She doesn't stop to think before she talks.
5. She complains about everything ALL the time. She even complains about other people complaining all the time and it's not her that has the complaining problem it's everyone else, including me.
6. She is unapproachable when it comes to talking about her faults and the things that annoy me. If i try to talk to her about anything she will either completely blow me off or she will yell and me and tell me not to talk about it. She is in serious denial.
7. She is waaaaay to overprotective. I can't walk 3 blocks away from my house. I can't go over to any of my friends houses (the main reason being is because most of the time she would have to drive me and she "doesn't feel like it". How fair is that to me? Just because she didn't have friends in high school that doesn't mean I shouldn't have any.)
8. She is lazy. Like I said in number 7, she won't take me anywhere because she doesn't feel like it, she wont walk anywhere with me when i want to (she won't let me go anywhere past 3 blocks from my house without her coming along and she has NEVER come along so that gives me no way to even get exercise. If I could, I would walk for 2 hours everyday. I enjoy walking. My mother enjoys watching soap operas (ALL of them), opera, and dr. phil ALL day long. This puts a strain on my social life big time...
9. We have nothing in common. Like I said before, she wants to watch dr phil and opera and soap operas all day when i want to go for a walk or, when i am watching tv, i wanna watch something that we can both watch. Her reaction to this is "NO, I can't miss my soap operas for even one day." maybe thats not exactly how she says it buy thats a general idea of how she reacts.
10. She cuts me out mid sentence whenever I'm talking to her about anything. That is VERY annoying. Example: I'm telling her how my day was, she will then randomly cut in and say "OH, that reminds me of how today blah blah blah..." Basically, she has no manners.
11. One thing that really doesn't bug me but is an interesting fact is that she is so predictable I know what she is going to say before she says it. I swear, the whole time that i've know her her view on everything, the way she talks and acts has not changed at all. She hates change and I believe that is one of the reasons she doesn't want me to talk about her changing in any way that would help both our lives become less stressful.
12. She has a horrible gambling problem and of course she will not admit she has one. With her, she is either at the casino and she is nagging me about everything. It's gotten so bad that I look forward to her leaving for the casino and leaving me alone in peace for a bit...is that sad or what?
13. My grandmother taught my mother her values and every since then my mother has stuck to them. My mother is the kind of person I don't like AT ALL. Sometimes she can be extremely prejudice and even racist. She assumes all black people are people who can't be trusted and who will always rob you if given the chance. She absolutely is against homosexuals when I myself believe that you can't control who you love. I absolutely HATE racist and prejudice people. I despise them. My mother is one of them.
14. When my mother and I are in an argument and my mother thinks she is right and so do I and I know I am right and my mother finally realizes this, I can see it in her eyes the exact moment it happens to, she will not give up and say she's sorry and that I was right. When this happens with me and she is right, I apologize and say she was right and so on but she will not. Isn't that...just how it's supposed to go?

I have thought at times that I cannot wait until I turn 16 so I can get a job and save money so when I am 18 I can move out and live my own life the way I want to and not be bothered but this annoying women EVER AGAIN. Again, when I try to talk to her about these things, she completely blows me off or yells at me to not talk about it. She is EXTREMELY stubborn. Help?
   
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Re: My annoying mother - February 4th 2011, 05:53 PM

wow, this sounds quite close in relation to mine!
I'm still trying to find a way to get her to take a comversation serious enough to actually discuss it with her but until then i think there isn't much we can do...
Try of course, and work on making things better but thats all you could do really.
I think its just thier personalities.

sorry not much help, but you arent alone in this issue.
Hope things work out ok.
   
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Re: My annoying mother - February 4th 2011, 06:25 PM

Welcome to TeenHelp, Travis! =)

Sounds a looooot like my mom. Guess what I did the moment I turned 18? Yup, I got the HECK out of there. In fact, we didn't talk for about a year after that, because I needed her to realize how negatively she had affected my life. We are on better terms now, but she isn't the only one who has realized something. Unfortunately, I cannot change my mother. The nagging, the complaining, not taking care of herself medically, and NEVER APOLOGIZING... those simply aren't things I can control. I'm afraid you may have to come to the same conclusions as well.

1. You can encourage her to seek help. You can bring it up to YOUR doctor the next time you have an exam (and if you're not getting regular exams, definitely look into non-profit/community clinics in your area... even at 15 years old, you need to get regular exams!). You can tell her how scared you are that she won't live to be past 60 years old (not because of her bladder, but because of all the other medical complications she could be ignoring by not seeing a doctor). Other than those things, however, it's pretty much out of your hands.

2. Find a way to cut off the nagging ASAP. For me, it was easiest to just smile and nod, smile and nod. No talking back, no excuses, no justifications... nothing. The sooner I "agreed" with her on everything, the sooner she would leave me alone. Of course, if there's some truth to what she's saying, get those things taken care of, so you won't have to keep dealing with the nagging!

3. Out of your control, unfortunately. I suggest finding something relaxing to do when this gets on your nerves. You can't change her, but you can change the way you deal with the unpleasant situation.

4. See above.

5. See above.

6. See above.

7. Other than asking your friends to come over to your house instead, it's out of your control. If she doesn't want to drive because she "doesn't feel like it", then you're out of luck.

8. See 3-6.

9. See above.

10. See above. This was a big one for me, and unfortunately, I still haven't found a solution to it. I've tried shouting over her, but that just makes her angry (because she thinks I'm shouting AT her, not OVER her). I've tried walking out of the room when she's interrupted me, but she's usually content to just keep talking to herself.

11. Makes sense. If all she does is watch soap operas and stay home all day, then she'd become a rather boring person, thus making her actions/comments easy to predict.

12. Quite sad, unfortunately. Has her gambling affected her ability to provide the basic necessities (food, shelter, clothing, etc.) for you? If so, you could try contacting Child Protective Series (CPS) and explain that your mother has an addiction to gambling, which is causing her to lose money that would have been used to provide for your needs. A social worker could come by, assess the situation, and there's the possibility that you would be taken out of the home and placed with a relative or in foster care until your mother could receive assistance for her addiction to gambling.

13. See 3-6 and 8-9.

14. See above.





   
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Re: My annoying mother - February 5th 2011, 09:16 AM

Thank You guys alot. If I can't change her it's at least good to know i'm not the only one with a very annoying mother. I'll just wait until i'm 18 and then move on with my life. Thanks again.
   
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