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Unhappy Losing everyone - February 9th 2011, 03:09 AM

My youth advisor for the past five years just told us all that she is leaving. She changed my life for the better, helped me though so much, and I was about to confide in her on a topic that I haven't completely discussed with anyone.

I don't know if I want to tell her anymore, and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get through without her.

Of course, not only is she leaving at the end of the year, but also all my friends are seniors so they are graduating and leaving. And I just don't know how to deal with it, Ive been dreading this for so long, and now it is here...what do i do?
   
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Re: Losing everyone - February 9th 2011, 03:41 AM

My senior year of high school, I was part a substance abuse group with our youth advisor. She was amazing, and got me through so much that I didn't have too go through an actual detox at a rehab center.

I know it's tough losing someone, and I felt exactly the way you felt when I was leaving my senior year (only, I thought I'd start using again without her help!). But, I just remembered everything that she taught me over the years (I was a part of the group my Junior year as well).

I'm assuming your not graduating at the end of this school year, and will become a Senior next year? I know it's going to be tough trying to confide in someone you haven't met before. But, she isn't leaving you for good. Ask her if there is any way you can stay in contact after she does leave, like via e-mail. Since she knows why, and knows what you've gone through, she might be okay with it. All you have to do is ask.

Also, ask her what's going to happen next year after she's gone. Will there be a new advisor? Is it someone already at the school or is it someone completely new? Those are key questions because trusting someone with your personal secrets is going to be tough if it's someone completely new.

If you want to talk more about, feel free to PM me. I know what your going through with feeling lost. Maybe I can help?
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Re: Losing everyone - February 9th 2011, 08:09 PM

Friendscare:

Whatever it is that you are going through, it is probably a serious topic which is why you have been seeking help. But also, I am very impressed as to how you're able to keep a sense of reality and approach your problems in a way that'll lead you to the highest probability of reaching a healthy solution.

For years you have been learning great life advices by being around seniors and guidance councilors. You were able to find similar problems that your senior friends have already experienced and so you were able to apply their resulting stories to your life. I'm sure that helped you to become a better person. I'm sure that helped you think more accurately so you can assess your situation more practically -- even when your friends are not around you.

So now you are faced with a new problem. And that is change. You also have a problem you wish to discuss that is categorized, by you, as an important issue that will affect you if you approach it in the wrong way.

So what will you do?

Well first know that before you couldn't solve some issues because it was your first time exposed to such problems. But after getting some experience and help, you were able to deal with your problems on your own. So now being aware of that, you are much better off now than compared to before. Maybe you can now pinpoint the "root" cause of the problem that you have and see if you can come up with a solution. Maybe you can describe your problem in an ambiguous way so that potential helpers, whom have not yet earned your trust, can give you creative alternative solutions that you may entertain in your thought. Then take that solution, which you have formulated on your own, and practice it to see if it will work.

As you gradually and emotionally open up to potential helpers, you can give them a bit more detail so that the learning process can be clearer. However, the bulk of the learning is when you do things by yourself with the guidance of someone whom you trust.
   
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Re: Losing everyone - February 10th 2011, 10:23 PM

Thanks guys, that really helpful. I'm feeling a little better, still really upset though.
   
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