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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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lonely4you Offline
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How do you deal with it? - February 18th 2011, 06:20 PM

My mother recently left us just right before the thanksgiving holiday. No one understood her actions. For a while when she was all pissy and moody around the house we all jsut assumed it was menopaus. it was definatly time for it. but no one understood why she one day just packed up and left and never bothered to explain anything to her 4 children. This has been an extremly difficult time for my sisters and i. my oldest sister is moved out so all the heavy work load fell on my 2nd oldest sister and myself. having to deal with the cooking and the cleaning and the grocery shopping and laundry and just everything while my father continued to work so he could support us. It was definatly hardest on my little sister who is still in highschool. you cant blame her, a girl needs her mom. After spending the holidays without my mother, we realized that she was with another man. Having an affair we werent sure of all the details, she had lied to us about so many things that we didnt know what was true or not. she finally got up the courage to ask my father for a divorce and he declined. he said whatever the issue was they should try to work it out for us children and for themselves and he suggested therapy for the both of them. but she clearly threw a fit.

I moved out of the house to take a job in a different state but i know things are so hard on my sisters but they are trying there best. I just want to know how do you deal with this? The stress it puts on you is unbelievable. always having to listen to two sides of the story and quite honestly im annoyed with the both of them. i currently want nothing to do them although they both have given me everything i always wanted. its just horribly frustrating. why just throw away your whole life? she wants nothing to do with us anymore. except and occasional call or text. but why should we have to put up with her new bf. she wants so badly for us to accept him adn gets all pissy when we tell her how it is.

i absolutely hate this. any advice?
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Re: How do you deal with it? - February 19th 2011, 05:15 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. =( Unfortunately, "there's no cure for normal." It's normal to be upset with your mother, and it's normal to resent her new relationship. It's normal to want nothing to do with him, and even with her, because of what she has done to you and your family.

It will become easier to cope with these feelings, given time... so for now, just try to keep yourself occupied and draw closer to your other family members (even if it's from another state - you can still call, e-mail, send photos, etc.). Once the pain has eased a bit, you'll be able to determine what kind of a relationship (if any) you want to have with your mother.

I wish you and your family all the best. <3

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