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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Hirohyl Offline
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My friend - February 23rd 2011, 01:19 AM

Hi, I'm worried about my friend. Her father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and ever since then she's been collecting stuffed animals. We can't go out without her buying one. I mean it's not a bad thing but there are other things she could be using that money towards. Is it possible this is something that was triggered by her father's disease??
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Re: My friend - February 23rd 2011, 03:36 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp! =)

Yes, this may have been triggered by her father's illness; however, I don't think this is something worth worrying about. If your friend is still relying on her parents for financial support, then chances are she is spending allowance money, correct? She can use that money for whatever she'd like, and her parents will still be able to take care of her basic needs... so why not let her spend that allowance money on things that make her happy? =D

If she's using her parents' credit card, then they'll receive the billing statement soon enough. If she's spending too much, I'm sure they'll sit down with her and discuss spending limits then. If they don't, then you can probably assume it's not a problem for them.

If she's financially supporting herself, then I wouldn't say anything unless she suddenly can't pay for rent/utilities/food/etc. because of how much money she's spending on stuffed animals. It doesn't seem she's at that point, though.

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Re: My friend - February 23rd 2011, 04:07 AM

Completely agree with what Robin said..
I would consider just asking your friend why she's buying so many stuffed animals. She might just tell you.
If she doesn't want to talk about it, then be respectful of that. But you should try being her friend and all.
Good luck, I hope your friend is ok.

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Re: My friend - February 23rd 2011, 04:51 AM

She may find comfort in the stuffed animals that she doesn't think anyone else could give her. While this is untrue, as her parents, while going through struggles themselves, are being supportive and she has a wonderful friend in you, she may just think that nobody gets what she is going through, and that stuffed animal's are a new sense of comfort, even if they can't really do anything but lie there and let her cuddle with them.
Maybe it has something to do with something she and her father did as she was growing up?
You can ask her outright why she needs so many stuffed animals, but don't come off rudely about it. Be supportive of her deicisons to purge on stuffed animals regardless of the amount she's spending. Everyone deals with grief in their own way, and this is, well, possibly her way with dealing with her.
Good luck with your friend and I'll keep her and her family in my prayers.

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