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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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xxJoolay Offline
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Name: Julie
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Feels down while with friends? - February 26th 2011, 09:28 AM

Well, my friends are all so pretty. Like, really gorgeous. They never used to look like that, but they sort of all went through this transformation from average looking to beautiful. Everyone changed their appearance somehow, and they just look amazing. Me on the other hand, has been looking the same since elementary school. I'm in high school now, and everyone says I have the same face and look.

I would like to change the way I look, like get my eyebrows done (They look really bushy -_-), get a perm for my poofy/frizzy hair (Even though I kinda like it), and just look nice. But I'm scared to change, because what if I don't like it? It would be all for nothing. That's why I stay the way I am right now; the same. I mean I know I don't look very attractive appearance wise, it's just that I don't really want to be judged if I get this whole new look.

My friends say I'm fine just the way I am, but I constantly worry about my looks. I don't tell them, I just go along with it and say thanks.

And no racism intended, please don't get offended. I'm asian, and I mostly hang out with asian people.

Some asian people are very skinny, and my friends are like that. Me on the other hand, is a [edited] 14 year old. I'm the most plump out of my friends, and it kinda bums me out. Haven't been eating a lot...Today I calculated and I only ate [edited].

Yeah, I know all of you say that I'm beautiful but I don't accept it. I don't accept myself. I don't want to. I'll accept myself when I feel pretty, and confident. I've always had low self esteem, and I've tried to fix it, but it's hard.

I just want to feel pretty too.

At school I'm always happy and all that. But at home, I just feel dead. My friends don't notice, and I'd like to keep it that way.

My friends are all beautiful, except for me. No 'transformation' for me, I guess.

Last edited by PSY; February 26th 2011 at 08:37 PM. Reason: Body weight and calorie numbers are not permitted on TeenHelp.
   
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Ancora Imparo Offline
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Re: Feels down while with friends? - February 26th 2011, 11:03 AM

Hey Julie,

I'm really sorry to hear that you aren't feeling so great at the moment but I'm really glad to see that you have come here to reach out for support and I'm sure that there will be plenty more members like myself who will be more than happy to give you it.

It's totally normal to feel insecure about the way you look while you're growing up as your body is changing so quickly that it can be pretty overwhelming as you're not use to these changes happening. As you're not use to these changes happening and you don't know what to expect, you then start to compare yourself against the other people around you, such as friends or other people within your year and when you feel as if you don't look the same as them then you start to feel pretty self concious as you believe you should look the same way as them, which isn't the case because everyone is different and comes in all different shapes and sizes.

I know that you said that you're worried to make changes to yourself and then finding out that you don't like them but I believe part of being a teenager is trying out different looks and experimenting in order to discover what suits you and what makes you feel most comfortable. I know it's scary but sometimes you just have to take a chance on things and see how they turn out because it's much better to know the outcome than to spend a long period of time wondering what if.

At the end of the day, you are beautiful and everyone has something unique that makes them beautiful. What makes you attractive won't necessarily be the same as what makes your friends attractive but that's okay because you're not a clone of them, you're an individual.

If you ever want someone to talk to about anything then feel free to PM or VM me at anytime as I'm always more than happy to talk about everything and anything. I really hope that you're feeling better about yourself soon and that I've been able to help in one way or another.

Take care and keep smiling.





When we're lost in the madness, kindness is wisdom.
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