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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Stuckinhell Offline
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Name: Sammy
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No friends - March 6th 2011, 12:50 AM

I've got loads of aquaintances, people i'll bump into and say hi to. I get on with just about everyone, but i've no actual friends.

No people I can just go out with, phone, text, hug, chat with etc.

Just feel really low about this. I've tried to join new societies, tried turning into aquaintances into friendships. But nothing works.

I get so jealous when I see people out with friends laughing away.

What am i doing wrong? x


   
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Dark-and-Twisty Offline
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Re: No friends - March 6th 2011, 02:40 AM

It's the same here. I have lots of people I talk to, and there are people I do hang out with, but I hardly consider them true 'friends.' I mean, yes, we spend a lot of time together. But it's not the type of friendships I see among others. I don't hug them upon seeing them, and I'm often left out if there's a special occasion. I'm just 'there,' along for the ride. We don't text for the fun of it, usually they only text me if they want something, and vice versa.

I've never known what it's like to have a best friend.

You're not alone.


"You say you're all dark and twisty. It's not a flaw, it's a strength. It makes you who you are."

~ Derek, Grey's Anatomy
   
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: No friends - March 6th 2011, 05:07 AM

Hey there,

I am totally in the same boat you are. However, I have a few comment that can make you understand the situation a bit more. Those acquaintances that you speak of, try getting to know them better. But keep in mind-- in order to get closer to someone, you have to open up a little bit. You have to give a part of yourself over to that person. Not a big part, or a personal part, just collateral basically. When you let a wall down, you're letting someone in, thus becoming closer to them. I'm not saying tell your life story to someone who is basically a stranger, but just a few things here and there.

I think that it's great that you are joining societies, but maybe you can join an activity, or a club that you're interested in. Chances are, you'll meet someone in said club with the same interests. You will be able to connect with people easier. I find that when you are attempting to make friends, you have to form a connection with them based off of similar interests, and past experiences. It gives you something to talk about. A friendship is run off of commonalities, and connectivity. Without that, then there isn't much going on.

Here are a few other things that you can do to make friends. you can volunteer. Try volunteering for something that involves being social. This will help your social skills, and help you make more friends. In the appropriate time, share your opinions. Make yourself be heard, and known! Another good one is to make eye contact with people, and smile. If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship. You can make small talk, but make sure it's light, and happy. People like to talk to positive people. And people are often turned off by the negative. If you are close enough to these acquaintances, initiate a get together with them. Have a small party. In doing so, people will remember you, and want to talk to you.

I hope this helped in some way!
Take care,
-Lyndsee


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