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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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LazzaBeep Offline
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Question They've told me I've changed? - March 10th 2011, 10:08 PM

My best friend told me a couple of months ago that she thinks I have changed and I hang around with the wrong people at college.
I thought that this was completely wrong and that I am the person I have been for all the years I have been friends with her.
Tonight, my other best friend said that there are certain things about me that she has noticed is different. I am thankful that she has told me this and isn't talking behind my back but I don't know what to think of it.
I know I have changed. But I thought it was in a good way. All my other friends outside my group of best friends think I have changed for the better and I am a better person now. But my best friends think I have changed in a bad way (well not very bad but not good either)
I just don't know what to do with myself now and I don't know if I should change back to the person I was?!?


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Re: They've told me I've changed? - March 10th 2011, 10:24 PM

Laura,

You have two sides to this. Some people think you have changed for the worse, and some people think you have changed for the better. You're probably confused on who is right, and who is wrong. Now is the time for you to step outside of yourself and look at the present situation. Do YOU think you've changed for the worse, or the better? Take into consideration all that others have pointed out and compile it all together. Ask yourself the question once more: "Have I changed for the better, or for the worst?"

If you have changed in a bad way, you don't need to change back to the old you. Never revert back to the past. That gets us no where. You can change the negatives to positives, and grow into a more mature, well-rounded person. Learning from experiences like this can better you. If you feel you have changed for the better, stick to that. Don't let people sway your thoughts. There is a difference between you changing for the worse as opposed to your friends simply not liking the change. This is your call. You decide who you are, and what you do with your life. Don't let anyone change that.


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Re: They've told me I've changed? - March 10th 2011, 10:27 PM

You can be who you want to be. It may sound corny, but it's really the truth. If you feel like a happier person now, there's nothing wrong with that.

You could always ask your best friend(s) about what they think has changed and what is wrong with it. Let them explain to you what they think is wrong and make a decision from there.

You are you, the only one who can change that is you, but you have to want to change. If you feel better now than you felt back then, you have to think about whether it's really going to make anything better if you change back. We all grow, we all get older and we all change. Your best friends have known you longer than the other friends, I assume, so talk about it with them.

You can do it! Whatever you do, be yourself.





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Re: They've told me I've changed? - March 10th 2011, 11:32 PM

I agree with what's been said so far, and I want to highlight something that Daniel suggested: ask your best friends what has changed, and how they perceive it to be a negative change. Maybe they have a point, maybe they don't... but the more specific they can be, the more helpful it will be for you to determine which is the case.





   
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