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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Brandon Offline
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Birthday present for mom - March 12th 2011, 02:02 AM

I would just ask "what should I get my mom for my birthday," but I don't think it's really that simple. In the summer of 2003, I got my mom into some unnecessary trouble that caused her to spend a night in jail. She was bailed out by my aunt and uncle, and I made her look like a bad person when it was really me being a bad son. I manipulated the police, she was a little intoxicated, and she didn't have much of a chance. Two short weeks later, my mom kicked me out of the house. However, a couple weeks after kicking me out, she tried to take me back but my dad was already signing the papers to take possession of me. I didn't hear from my mom for several years. I've seen her probably about 4-5 times within the past 3 years. As you can imagine, we don't really communicate, and we don't celebrate each other's birthdays by buying each other presents. So I'm not here to ask for a birthday present that I can get my mom, I'm asking for finding something that really means something to her (preferably under 100 dollars). I also plan on typing up something like a letter to apologize about how I've failed as a son, etc, and reciting it in front of her. Otherwise, I'll just send the letter with the box and have her recite it to her family. I want to buy her something special, and I know in my heart that I will never be able to repay her for the things she's done for me and I know I'll never be forgiven for what I've done, and I know it won't bring us closer together, but I just want her for one night...one night, to be able to feel that even though I'm no longer part of her life, that she will always be my mother.

So could you please help me?
   
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Re: Birthday present for mom - March 12th 2011, 08:04 PM

I've had a difficult relationship with my mother as well, but for different reasons. When I wanted to show her that she would "always be my mom", I thought back to the happier times, before we started getting into screaming matches every day. I visited old schools, playgrounds, stores, etc. and picked up small trinkets that reminded me of those happier times. Perhaps you could take those trinkets and frame them, along with some photographs of you and your mom. It's pretty sappy, I know... but after everything that's happened between you and your mom, I don't see how buying a piece of jewelry is going to truly touch her heart (even if you get it engraved or give it some kind of personalized touch). You'd probably be better off just writing a sincere letter and reading it out loud than giving her something like jewelry.





   
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Re: Birthday present for mom - March 12th 2011, 11:14 PM

I really like the idea that Robin has given you. I, too, have had some falling outs with my mom, and the thing that seemed to make things a little better was in fact writing her a letter. Sometimes you just need to keep it simple, and stick with the letter. Make amends with her by owning up to what you did. Tell her that she is still your mother, and always will be. Just make it as honest, and as heart felt as you can. She will hopefully see your intentions and maturity for posting it. It's okay to have ties cut, just make sure that you word your letter in a way in which both parties will understand.


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