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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Crazy Offline
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Name: Storm
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My parents are getting a divorce - March 12th 2011, 05:15 PM

Well, my parents are getting a divorce. When they first told me it was not final, but now it is. I plan on moving out with my dad and living with him. Me and my mom do not get together all that well, in fact we fight almost every day. So, I will not be going to the same school next year and am not sure we will even be in the same state for that matter. I am not depressed about it or anything like that, but any advice about the situation would help.






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Re: My parents are getting a divorce - March 12th 2011, 05:35 PM

My mom and dad split and divorced when I was 5. It's not the best thing to go through and it can be tough at times but all you need is a supportive family and friend system and you will get through it.
I see my dad and stepmom twice a month and although that is hard, i wouldn't have my life any other way. I have 3 step sisters, of whom I wouldnt have had if my parents didnt get divorced. I love my family how it is.
Yes sometime I do wonder what life would be like if mom and dad didn't divorce but life is good at the moment
Hope you get through it okay.
Pm me if you need a chat
Laura


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Re: My parents are getting a divorce - March 12th 2011, 05:39 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear that your parents are getting a divorce. I know that you and your mom don't get on so well, but the divorce could still be a bit hard to cope with. It's probably going to be nothing short of an emotional roller coaster for you, and your family for a while. So if you have any friends or people you are close with to talk to- then I would reach out to them for support when needed. It's important to not bottle these things inside of us because it all builds up. The advice that I have for you is- Do not get involved if you can help it. This is their divorce, and I know it effects you. What I mean by not getting involved is: don't partake in their arguments, don't get in the middle of them, etc Just try to live your life as you normally would. Although, you mentioned You're moving schools, so that might pose a difficulty in living your normal, day to day life.

Going to a new school is going to be a hard adjustment. Adapting to it is going to be hard. You're going to make new friends, meet new teachers, and have a different atmosphere. All this will take time getting used to. I think that being involved in school activities as much as possible could help you. To make friends- join a club that is fitting for your personality. If you join a club like that, then you are bound to meet people with the same personality type. You're bound to make friends there. To get to know your teachers, and classmates-- speak up in class when you know the answer to something. The more you make yourself known- the faster the title of "the new kid" will disappear. Of course if you are not as out going, then you obviously wouldn't be making yourself quite as known so quickly. In which case, just join some low key activities, and make small talk with people until you are ready to break out a little bit.


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Re: My parents are getting a divorce - March 13th 2011, 12:22 AM

Hey Storm,

Your parents breaking up is always hard. Mine broke up when I was 7, I had two younger sisters at that time as well. Now, both my parents are re-married and they both had another kid, expanding the family massively. It'll be ups and downs, really. There will be times where you'll hate your parents for ever breaking up, at other times you'll be glad they did.

My parents have a shared custody, although I'm free to choose, since I'm 19. I see my dad/stepmom/little brother once or twice every month, usually every other weekend. Your choice to live with your dad is very understandable and I'm happy you actually have a choice. I didn't have a choice, my mom demanded custody for some reason, but anyways, I've learnt to live with it. So will you, eventually. First weeks, months, years, will be hard, very hard at times, but you're a strong girl and you can do it!

Switching schools is always hard. When my parents divorced, my mom met someone else quite quickly and a few months after, we moved to the other side of town. I finished the school year at my old school and then went to the other one at age 8. Making new friends is tricky, but if you keep yourself to some main guidelines, you'll be okay...
- Be yourself, even if some people give you weird looks (you can't be everyone's friend...)
- Don't be afraid to ask people questions
- Look for people with common interests (eavesdropping works amazingly well!)
- Chat with the person next to you (when the teacher is not talking of course... :P)
- Socialize during breaks, there's usually someone nice in your class that will take you to his/her friend group within the school, those moments are made for making friends, especially during the first days

If you ever have any question about anything, whether it's the new school or your parents, you can always PM me! Link is in my signature.

Take care!





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Since March 16, 2011

My parents have been divorced for 12 years. If you're stuck in the middle, feel free to PM me!
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