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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Got kicked out - March 24th 2011, 07:42 AM

Basically for the past 17 years I've lived with my mom but she decided that long story short, she's sick of dealing with me and sick of being a parent and my dad needs to pick up some of the slack and start being a parent.

I never really fought with my mom before, until now. But she was pretty serious about kicking me out and im going to Chicago by the end of the month. Honestly, if this had been like... A couple years ago, I wouldn't have had as much of a problem with the situation as I do now.

1. I'm almost finished with my junior year of high school. I don't want to go to a new school just for senior year. I have way too much to live for here. Student body president, 3rd year varsity track (almost guaranteed to go to states this year and next), and all my friends and teachers and everyone else. I don't wanna lose all that and have nothing at a new school.

2. I've been in Hawaii since I was 3. Chicago? Major culture-shock there. I'm from a town of less than 5000. I was planning on going away for college, yeah. But I'm not ready to go away yet. So as much as I claim i hate it here, i think I'd hate it there even more.

3. I hate my dad. I never had any relationship with him for the past god knows how many years. I honestly don't think he's capable of being a father. He never even calls me as it is now. I can't imagine living with him either. I may as well go move in with a stranger, that's pretty much what he's been to me most of my life.

What do I do? I really want to stay in Hawaii until I graduate.
   
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Re: Got kicked out - March 24th 2011, 05:12 PM

Well, you're kind of in a tough situation. If your mom claims that she's sick of dealing with you, and that you don't contribute to the bills or anything like that, she unfortunately has the right to kick you out of her house and put you in her dad's house (if he consents). If you plan on living with your mom, you probably have to do things to make your mom feel that she doesn't need to deal with you: that includes getting a job, buying your own food, and other things. If you do that, you'll show initiative that you can take care of yourself and your mom won't have that much of a responsibility over you. If you don't plan on doing anything to support her, then you have to keep in mind that, unless your mom changes her minds and decides to continue being responsible for you and all that jazz, then the possibility of getting kicked out will only continue to increase.

Perhaps you have a friend that you can live with? Are you friends with a family who'd be willing to support you? If you don't have friends to move in with in Hawaii, if you don't have family to move in with in Hawaii, then you'll either:

a) become homeless in Hawaii
b) move to Chicago with your dad.

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your dad, but unless he's abusive or anything along those lines, then moving in with your dad is probably the best option. I'd rather live with someone I don't like than being homeless. Perhaps it may even repair your relationship with your dad and things turn out better than you expect. But ANYTHING is better than being homeless. So you have to keep in mind of those things before you make a decision.

I know that we all want to attend the same school we've been going to, but it doesn't always work out. Sometimes, you gotta make sacrifices. If your dad is the only person who will support you and you have to move to Chicago, then that's unfortunate but beats the other options.
   
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Re: Got kicked out - March 24th 2011, 10:51 PM

So your mom's tired of being a parent. That sucks, but hey, it could have been worse... at least you have a chance of getting employed at age 17. Why not try and get a part-time job to pay for your portion of the groceries, transportation costs, etc.? If your mom is craving independence/time away from you, work out an arrangement where you can spend more time with friends, at school, and so on. If you really want to stay in Hawaii for your senior year, then you may have to look into giving up an extracurricular activity in order to get a job, if that is what will satisfy your mom and allow her to keep you in her home for another year. Worst-case scenario, she'll talk to your dad and the two will agree on your living in Chicago. If that's the case, there isn't much you can do, aside from making the best of your new situation. I am truly sorry to hear about your situation, and hope things work out soon. =/






   
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