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Taeson Offline
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Unhappy what to do - March 30th 2011, 12:54 AM

My real father is an alcoholic. He did bad things to my mom, two brothers and me. She finally got a divorce and married another man. My father broke me in a way that i can barely trust anybody especially guys. My stepdad and i hardly get along and i don't know what to do. i'm afraid to talk to him about anything and i dont like him going many places with me. I don't know what is wrong with me that I do that. I dont mean to. I want a healthy relationship with him but i feel like my real dad messed me up. Even though my real dad is not in my life anymore he has still managed to affect me even though he is not here. I have a hard time getting along with people especially men. My stepdad says that i have anger for my real dad and i take it out on him but i dont. I love my stepdad and all but I try to get along with him but I seem to fail. Does anybody know what to do?
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Re: what to do - March 30th 2011, 02:11 AM

Hiya Brittany,

Are you close with your mom? If you are, you should consider asking her to go to group therapy with you and your stepfather. I would also consider getting therapy for what had happened between you and your father. Hang tough, I know things are hard now, but I promise they will pick up.

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Re: what to do - March 30th 2011, 04:27 AM

My mom and I are not super close but we are ok... i hardly ever see her.. My real dad lives in another state and i never want to see him again. I havent thought of group therapy.
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Re: what to do - March 30th 2011, 05:17 AM

Sounds as if your stepfather understands which is a good thing It's often hard to get on with a step parent, I have a step father and I barely communicate with him. I don't know my real dad so I consider my step dad my real one.
Just open up to him a little and show that you do care, it's just that your real father has made it hard for you to get along with other men now. He'll understand, he'll probably actually feel happy that his step daughter is talking to him Even if it's a short and simple talk like, how was your day? & with time, you can work on bonding with him. It definitely isn't an overnight thing, it takes time and patience.
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Re: what to do - April 5th 2011, 02:31 AM

Its very hard to talk to him because he is a man. ive been hurt by many men and it is hard to trust or even do anything with them. I'm trying to find a way past that. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is a step parent.
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Re: what to do - April 6th 2011, 07:37 PM


I have a few things that could possibly help you out. I think something that you could do is counseling. You've been through tramatic experiences with your dad, so being around men triggers old memories and thoughts. A counselor can help you to feel more comfortable and help you deal with the past. Also, by talking to a counselor, they can help give you tips and advice on how to trust your step dad more.

The second thing is, take things slow with your step dad. What would make you trust him? If you know, you can talk to him about it. You aren't expected to warm up to him right away. Maybe you can play a board game with him one night, or go out on a short outing to get ice cream or something. If you take it one step at a time, that should really help. You just have to have an open mind about it. It might also help to get to know him more before letting him get to know you. This way you can see that he is an okay guy<3

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Re: what to do - April 8th 2011, 09:01 PM

my mum has devrsed 2 times and i have had to be friends with them and just start off small like say hi when you see him around or tell him small problems or fake ones see how he helps you thats all i can really think off sorry if my advice is bad but im just trying to help ok hope this does

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