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need to get it out - April 6th 2011, 03:50 PM

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ok a couple months ago maybe more my dad told me why the real reason why my mom left i had a little sister which i dont remember so im doubting this also well any way my dad said my mom had killed her my little sister was drowned they said she was like 3 or 4 he finally told me her name awhile ago which i told noone i was in the process of forgetting about it he name is coline leahana marie i told him i didnt want to know if i dont remeber her why should i believe this he kept telling me to and i was being a total bitch about it i said im not i dont want to know i dont need another problem to handle in my life am i being wrong taking this the wrong way or do i have a right in not wanting to know or should i just let my dad tell me about a girl i dont rember and was my sister




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Re: need to get it out - April 6th 2011, 05:32 PM

If your mother had killed one of her children, wouldn't she have gone to jail?

You can't really control what your dad talks about. It may be an unpleasant topic, but it's not "illegal". At this point, I would either try my best to continue on with life as usual (regardless of what he says), or try to gain some closure and find out if what he's saying is true. Personally, I would choose the latter, because after hearing something like that, I would want to know if my mother was really a murderer. I imagine you could call the local police department (or the police department wherever your sister was allegedly killed) and explain that you believe you had a sister who is now deceased, and you would like to find out if there is any record of her existence (ex. birth/death certificates).

If it turns out what your father is saying ISN'T true, then you MIGHT be able to contact CPS and report him for attempting to cause emotional harm (ex. concocting a lie that is sensitive in nature and causes psychological stress). It would be a long shot, though. Again, what he's saying isn't "illegal", and he could just deny he ever said something on that nature.






   
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Re: need to get it out - April 6th 2011, 05:35 PM

ya i dont know my mom been to jail so many times since she left i wouldnt know if she went to jail for that reason first and i dont know if i can handle finding out the truth she has been contacting me and i know for sure she was on something atm so i dont really know how to handle this




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Re: need to get it out - April 6th 2011, 05:43 PM

Give it time, then. This is a lot to think about, regardless of whether or not it's true. Perhaps you could write down how you're feeling about it on a daily basis... anger toward your father, confusion toward your mother, ambivalence toward the whole situation... those feelings could vary from day to day, but if you get your feelings down on paper, that may help you cope and ultimately decide what you want to do (or don't want to do). It may not be a bad idea to talk to a school counselor about all of this, too.






   
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Re: need to get it out - April 8th 2011, 09:26 PM

well it might be nice to know a bit about you little sis but it might cause problems and could be upsting it depends of hoe strong you feel and if you feel you can handle it or not kk i know this isnt that good advice im just trying to do my bit


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Re: need to get it out - April 10th 2011, 04:09 PM

If you don't believe your dad you should do a background check on your mom. I think you can get a basic one for about $30 online and it would be worth it if this is causing a lot of turmoil in your family. Maybe your dad will even pay for it if he wants to prove this to you so badly.
   
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Re: need to get it out - April 10th 2011, 05:40 PM

The poster above has the right idea.

It surprises me that your mom killed your sister but isn't at jail. I think you need to listen to your dad. I know that it's hard to listen to things like that, but you have to face the issues at some point. Pretending they aren't there isn't going to help you. The past issues and the facts are going to catch up to you eventually, and it's going to be that much harder to face. I think you should hear your dad out. Try to discuss it with him. Put the facts together. Then decide how you want to react to the situation. If you want to wash your hands then go right ahead. But whatever you decide, don't run from it. I don't think it will help. But I really like the idea of doing a back round check on her. I think by talking to him and getting a back round check, you can probably catch him in a lie, if he is lying.

Take care.


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