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Tiny_93 Offline
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How can I help my parents? - April 16th 2011, 11:33 PM

(Please feel free to move this if this is in the wrong section)

Since recovering from anorexia, and having a very long hard battle with Bipolar disorder, things have become very difficult.

I have always hidden my problems away from my family. I felt i needed to protect them in one way or another. i know this may sound so crazy, but after all the abuse ive suffered from my family, i still love them, and feel that i have to protect them!

i havent self harmed for so long now, neither have i relapsed with my eating. things have been going good! or so i thought! honeslty, it hasnt! ive been blocking everything out since January! im trying to get my head down at school, and working hard to pass my exams!

Now all i ask for is help to help my parents! Ive come to somehow manage the abuse i endured from them, now all i want to do is help them with their acohol problem and constant arguments.

its the easter holidays here, and im not due back at 6th form another week. im contemplating talking to a teacher whom i really do trust. But im just wondering if this may spark things off again? i spoke to a teacher before, who now im really good friends and very close with. i dont want to impose any more of my problems on here, and there for think it may be good if i speak so someone new?

i do trust this teacher, im just so worried about openining up old wounds, and her never looking at me the same again if that makes sense...

What should i do guys?

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Re: How can I help my parents? - April 19th 2011, 02:33 AM

First of all, I want to congratulate you on a job well done. =) I remember when you decided to resign from staff in order to deal with these problems. I am so, SO proud of you for coming this far in such a short amount of time. There is not a doubt in my mind that you will continue to succeed, becoming stronger and healthier with each passing day! <3

Now, what exactly is it that you want to do for your parents? You said that you want to help your parents... but how would you do that? Would you want to arrange an intervention and force them into a rehab center in order for them to deal with their alcohol addictions? Would you want to find a way to approach the subject of seeing a marriage and family therapist?

I don't think there's any harm in talking to your teacher about what's going on. He seems like a wonderful person, and wonderful people do not hold things against their friends. You should not be judged based on what your parents have done. Hopefully, talking to your teacher will allow you to gain further insight as to what you can do in order to help your parents, as well as to continue helping yourself.

Also, are you seeing a psychological professional at this point in time? I imagine that you are - if so, talk to him/her about all of this as well. If you aren't, then maybe it would be a good idea to visit your school's psychologist - just so you have that additional support in case anything does resurface while attempting to help your parents. Remember, do NOT sacrifice your own well-being in order to help your parents. Never, ever put yourself in harm's way in order to help them. I know it can be so incredibly difficult to cut people out of your life when they need help - but sometimes, you HAVE to do it, at least until you can be healthy enough to help them without letting it affect you.

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Re: How can I help my parents? - April 19th 2011, 04:07 PM

Think of it this way, if you teacher revealed they were superman would you look at him the same way? No, you would idolize them. From putting up with abusive parents, that's the way he will look at you, idolized.

Tell someone if you want, you'll feel much better.
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Re: How can I help my parents? - April 20th 2011, 03:27 PM

Thank you so much for the support! I really have come a long way, but do have days where everything seems unbearable, though really it isn't. I'm sure that's quite normal.

When I say I want to help my parents, I mean i do want to help them with the alcohol problem and I do want them to get help so that we can be a proper family again. I guess I kinda want to help them be happy again. Before I was I'll, before all innocence was taken away. The only thing is I dont know what kind of help they are able to receive, I'm not really sure how it all works with parents.

Yes I am seeing a psychiatrist at the moment. I've just had my meds reduced and I'm worried by telling them this, they might think it being a trigger to set me off again. Like this happened before. I wanted to change and help my family, instead my meds were increased because they thought it was me falling again.

Any advice would be brilliant thank you once again. Truly means alot!


I'm so focused in school now that my head is constantly in the books, and I just thought before I go to university next year I want things to be "ok" so to speak.

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