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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Foreveralways Offline
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Friends - April 28th 2011, 04:46 AM

Does anyone know how to get a friend to open up to you or be better friends with you? Ever since I liked he he closed off but I miss the old him and he's changing
   
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Re: Friends - April 28th 2011, 10:39 PM

You could be direct or subtle. The direct approach would be to say something like, "Hey, I can tell that something's bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?" The subtle approach could be when you just spend time with your friend and "love on them", in hopes that they'll open up on their own. You can also say something like, "I am here for you if you ever want to talk. You're my friend and I care about you." Personally, I use a mix of both. With some friends, it's better to be direct and tell them that I know something is going on. Once the truth is out in the open, they're more likely to open up. With other friends, however, it's better to let them reach that decision on their own, without any persuading on my end.

I think it's important to remember that you can't "make" anyone open up, nor can you "make" them be better friends with you. They need to be willing to talk to you and spend time with you. You can always tell and show them that you're available and eager to become a closer friend with them, but in the end, they need to decide whether or not they want to build upon your existing friendship. If your friend is going through a ton of changes at the moment, he may not be ready to build upon your existing friendship... or this might be the perfect time for him to reach out in his time of need. You never know - so take a direct, subtle, or mixed approach and see what happens! =)






   
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Re: Friends - May 6th 2011, 12:12 AM

Hey there. You can't really make someone open up to you. That's entirely their own choice. I don't think you would want to force them to open up to you either because then they aren't doing it on their terms. You can simply suggest that you are always there for them, and that you're a great listener. I love Robin's approach- the whole subtleness. Just show that you really care about this person, and try to get closer to them so they trust you more. A good way to do that is to tell them something that is a secret for you. Meaning, open up to them, and you might get the same thing in return. They will feel more comfortable knowing that you are willing to open up as well.


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