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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Adopted. - May 14th 2011, 03:27 PM

Weeeell.. I was adopted. And ever since I was young, a few of my cousins and I haven't gotten on very well. They knew of course that I was adopted, and a lot of times when we would argue, or fight their comeback would be something along the lines of "well no one cares about you anyways, you were just adopted." or "that's not really your grandma, she's my grandma. She loves us more cause we're her real grandkids..." my brother was a baby when we were adopted, and they make comments like that to him no, and he's only six years old. I hate going to family gatherings, because I feel so out of place.


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Re: Adopted. - May 14th 2011, 06:46 PM

That's terrible! Have you told your parents what your cousins are saying? I know you may not want to seem like a "tattle-tale", but personally, I think your cousins would benefit from a discussion about adoption, why your parents chose to adopt, how genetics isn't the only thing that determine who's "family", etc. For example, your cousins will probably get married someday. Their husbands/wives won't be related, but that doesn't mean they'll be any less worthy of love from their family-in-law. The same goes for someone who has been adopted. You may not be related, but that is not the sole factor for determining who is "family". =)






   
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Re: Adopted. - May 14th 2011, 08:43 PM

I agree with Robin, the fact you are not related does not matter, family should be defined in love and actions, not in blood. I also agree you should tell your mum about this, and although he may be young, it might be a good idea to try and talk to your brother so as he grows up he knows he's just as much in that family as everyone else. If you can, try not to let it get to you too much, they obviously do care about you and love you. I guess you should just keep your chin up and be nothing but pleasant... <3


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Re: Adopted. - May 18th 2011, 03:11 PM

I'm in an odd family situation right now. My mom, technically my stepmom, got thrown in jail. My dad is dead, and so is my other step mom, my mother (not biologically, but adopted) divorced my dad a long time ago. I've been shuffled between them all but lately been with stepmom who is now in jail. I'm temporarily in foster care, but at the end of the summer my brother and I will be moving in with my aunt. By next summer my stepmom will be out of jail, but I can't move back in with her. My brother and I will have to live with the same cousins that say we aren't part of the family. They are related to my original adopted parents, not the steps. This is pretty confusing..sorry..


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