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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BlueWolf Offline
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Name: Jessica
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I hate them! - May 25th 2011, 09:54 PM

Once I move back I never want to speak to my parents ever again. I hate them I hate them I hate them!!!!!!!!! I mean come on!!! Just because I have food to eat does not mean your a good mother! "your fed and you have a house for now so you have a wonderful life stop whining". I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE UPSET!!!!

I'm so fucking fed up with them. So because I have food and a place to sleep I should be happy? That means I am not neglected. That has nothing to do with happiness. I think... no... I KNOW my mom has problems. I really think she might have bipolar. She goes through a few weeks where she's okay and more easy to be around. She's not as bitchy and is more open to things, or at least talking about them. She actually seems to care. Other times... there are weeks where she doesn't give a fuck. I'm fucking 19 years old and I have to most rediculous rules. I am not allowed to do fucking shit!!!!! I'm trapped at home because I can't stay gone long, nor can I stay at a friends. EVER. So okay... I can deal. That's not so bad. But geez, could you at least make staying at home more bearable???? Would it kill you not to be such a fucking bitch???? So... I was telling her, 'I have to pay a fine' she replies 'how much is it going to be?' I reply, 'a lot'. She kept insisting for more information and then she says, and you expect me to pay it?? You can do it yourself. WHAT THE FUCK?????? Did I fucking ask you to??????? NO!!!!! I said I did I not?????????? Even though my bank account is dry and I have NO gas money, thus idk what to do if my some miracle I am able to find a job. So like I have a crying fit afterward because she makes me feel bad and guilty and I'm like... great... so I make you think I just want money? Am I that horrible? Then she gives me some and says 'this is all you get for school and your going to have to quit after this semester because i can't help you, your old enough to get a job.' Then I start crying cuz I feel bad cuz she doesn't have a job and although it wasn't much, it was still something that did help. Then she starts screaming at me and saying how ungreatful I was because I was crying about it. WTF!!!????? She said I was trying to manipulate her and stuff. And she does this all the time. She tells me how I give her an attitude and try to mess with her and I'm nasty to her and I'm not!!!!

One minute she pressures me to get a job too, then the next she's all... I'm not trying to pressure you. She is. She keeps telling me how I have to have one. She also keeps warning me I'll have to go stay with my dick of a father. She also loves to play with my brain. I'll be upset and she knows I have a weakness for pets. She used to let me have rabbits till we moved and since I haven't had any for long. Everytime I got one she gave it to my aunt or uncle cuz she said she didn't want to deal with it being around. She loves to tell me when I'm sad that we'll get one, then a few minutes later when I calm down I'm all really? and she starts yelling at me and saying how I'll have to move out first and that I needed to stop with it and that it was too much money and I was being cruel to her and what not for it.

She also loves to fill my brain with other things. She tells me all these nasty things about my dad that break my heart and rubs things in like he doesn't want me, he abandond me, and other nasty stuff like that. Which is hard to take because my dad has often ignored me and lied to me when he swears he never has and will fight and call me names when I accuse him of doing so, but then why does he try to help me out with stuff if he treats me so horribly? Why do they seem to have such hatred for me?

Last I checked, my mom is in the position she is in because of HER choices. Same with my dad. So why are the fingers being pointed at me? My mom QUIT her job. She was NOT fired. She said it hurt her back, but to me, a little pain is worth money. So she went back to school to change her profession, and I'm not saying I didn't support her or think it was good. BUT, when she is complaining to ME about all this and making me feel horrible.... that's taking it too far. She made her own decisions. I did not choice this and I am suffering for her choices too. I mean, I get she's worried that we are getting kicked out in October unless she gets a job... and I can go stay somewhere else, but so can she! We lived with my aunt and grandfather before! She's being too bitchy to just suck it up and deal with it! She's all... i'd rather sleep in my car, and I wanted to say, same here rather than live with you. Actually, I'd rather get hit by a car than have my mind being played with and tormented. I'm so confused about everything now and I refuse to trust anyone.

I hate my parents. I get there are rough times, but COME ON!!!! Could you at least not be so harsh with me? I'm trying my best to find a job! I really am. Idk what else to do. I try not to ask for things unless it's extreamely important. I get I need to quit school. I understand I need a job. But do you have to scream at me about it all the time? Do you have to ignore me because of my supposed attitude? I really don't have one. Even if I had one, is screaming at me going to solve anything at all? NO. It only hurts me more. Everything hurts. At least now I can stop talking to my dad. No more him calling me names and blaming me for having to pay child support. Everytime I saw him he brought it up and moaned and groaned and made me feel bad. I just wanna shoot myself. I must be a real peice of shit to be treated this way. I mean... I guess I should be happy. My mom is at least not hitting me anymore. No more bruises. That's good right? She has some good days where I can sit at home without being yelled at or blamed for being cruel.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe since my parents seem to hate me so much I should just die. What did I do for them to be like this to me? I just want them to be nice. That's it. Just stop yelling. Is that so much to ask for? Can't they just talk to me like the 19 year old that I am so I don't get hurt? They know I want to die. Yelling doesn't help. Making me feel worse doesn't either. Gee.... no wonder I'm so depressed all the time.....

I'm sorry guys, I just desperately needed to vent.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Re: I hate them! - May 28th 2011, 10:06 PM



We all have to blow off some steam sometimes. I hope venting helped you out a bit.

It sounds like your mom made some poor decisions... and the consequences of her actions are starting to stress her out. She's probably too prideful to admit she made a poor decision, so she's putting all the focus on you instead. It's actually a fairly common reaction in situations like these. Unfortunately, she's hurting you, and unless you can get through to her somehow, I doubt she'll stop what she's doing. It's her way of coping, as horrible as that sounds.

My advice is to keep doing whatever you can to get out of that house. Your mother is emotionally abusive, and she was physically abusive prior to that. So long as you stay in her house, you'll struggle more than is necessary. With your history of depression/suicidal thoughts, it is especially important that you make every effort to get out.

I know it's stressful to think about all the steps that need to be taken in order to become an independent adult, but have you considered talking to a financial advisor at your school about getting loans, both for attending school and living elsewhere? Perhaps you could go to the bank and inquire about student loans as well. It's not ideal to be in debt when you're young and unemployed, but if it will clear your head and improve your mood, then it's worth it. You may have better luck finding work once the summer arrives, since students will be graduating/moving/going on vacation. =) So keep submitting those applications, and follow up! Don't be afraid to call potential employers and inquire about the status of your applications.

Are you currently seeing someone for your depression? If not, I would start looking at non-profit clinics and free support groups in your area. You don't need to shell out $100/hr. for therapy sessions.

I wish you all the best, and feel free to keep us updated on your situation! <3






   
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BlueWolf Offline
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Re: I hate them! - May 28th 2011, 11:04 PM

I'm scared to call the employers and I wouldn't even know who to call. If I ever go in somewhere they always say... apply online. So I don't know who is in charge.

I am seeing someone about my depression and everything else that comes along with it. I go to a government run place, so I can go for free which is wonderful. I see both a therapist and a psychiatrist. However, nothing is helping.

I've looked into getting loans, and I need a co-signer for them. The ones that I don't need one for, the interest can change. I don't trust that. So far, the plan is for me to go stay with my dad and find a job, then once I do, go back to school, but I don't want anything to do with him. I shouldn't have to put up with it.

I'm looking for every kind of job, and have even started looking for tutoring jobs and overnight jobs. Anything I can get. But without a job, I'm stuck here not sure what will happen. I'm just at a loss.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Re: I hate them! - May 28th 2011, 11:14 PM

Every place I applied to also said, "Apply online," or they just handed me a form and said they'd give it to the manager later. As scary as it may be, you need to walk in the front door and ask to speak to a manager. If the employee says the manager isn't available, ask to speak to a supervisor. Introduce yourself and say that you would like a job.

If they say, "Apply online," thank them and ask when you can expect to hear back from someone. The place I work for said I'd hear back within 6 weeks, and when I didn't, I immediately called the manager (who remembered me because I had personally introduced myself). She told me to re-apply, and that I would hear back within a week. I heard back 3 days later, went for an in-person interview the next day, and was hired on the spot! Seriously, you have no idea how much your chances of being hired will improve if you take those basic steps.

If you fill out a form, either give it directly to the manager or ask when the manager will be working so you can give it directly to the manager. Again, introduce yourself, state your interest in being hired, and ask when you can expect to hear back. If that time passes and you don't hear back, call the manager! Show them you're interested, make yourself stand out somehow! If you are too timid to call back, then chances are, you'll be too timid to work with customers... and they won't want to hire you. =/






   
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