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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
HealingAngel Offline
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My dad doesn't care about me - June 5th 2011, 09:09 PM

Okay really... He doesn't give a shit about me. I've realized that since I was like 11 or 12 but now I'm 15 and themoreand more time that passes the more and more I realize that that statement is spot on.

He is like a live-in roomate rather than my dad. And my mom doesn't love him. She thinks he is her "soulmate" but she doesn't say she loves him and she all but said she'd choose someone else if she could go back and still have me.

She stays with him for me, and he stays with me for her.

He is always gone. He isn't ever home. Whn he is he goes into his computer room where he works.

One week I wrote down every single word we said to each other.

3 days we said nothing. The rest of the days our conversation consisted of ten sentances, max. I stopped writing it down because it was too depressing.

I used to sob and beg my parents to stay together when I was younger and they would fight, but now I wouldn't ever care if they separated for good. Hell, I'd PREFER it. I mean honestly, my dad doesnt give a shit and lets me get away with basically anything. When he took me to a general admission hard rock concert he said I could go down to the front by myself. Things were wild, there were 3 pits going at once and I went crowd surfing. My mom is wayyy over-protective, but loves me to death. If they splirt I could go to her house for emotional support and love but to his house for freedom and when I needed to breathe. It'd be perfect...

I don't exactly know why I am posting this... I guess I just want to know what you all think of it? I don't even know the point. There is no real question here... but it hurts to knwo he doesn't care. Don't say I need to talk to him eitehr though, I'd rather you not comment ifyou ar going to say that... (sorry, that sounds harsh but my whole life he's basically been absent and I will not approach him about it. I have no interest in restoring the relationship). Anything else though feel free to comment about


When You're At The End Of Your Rope...
Tie A Knot... and Hold On... <3
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I think I kinda, sorta, maybe... mighttt just love him after all...
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Settle precious, I know what you're going through,
Minutes before you got here, I was going to jump too...

Last edited by Peppermint.; June 6th 2011 at 05:30 PM. Reason: Removing prefix to better fit with the guidelines.
   
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Re: My dad doesn't care about me - June 5th 2011, 11:32 PM

I think if you don't wanna talk to him about it then don't.

I totally understand what you mean about wanting your parents to split, granted the reasons I want mine to are totally different, I understand the feeling. I can tell my mom everything and my dad is more just kind of to hang out with. He and I don't talk a lot but it doesn't bother me because I have my mom for personal stuff.

I am sorry that you feel like he doesn't care.. Maybe don't talk to him about the situation but just bring things up that you know he would enjoy talking about? If that even makes sense?

Honestly, I understand where you're coming from, and if your mom is only staying with him for you then tell her what you want, and what you think about the situation?

Hope this helps. <3
   
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Re: My dad doesn't care about me - June 6th 2011, 01:37 AM

I'm in pretty much that same situation, and I feel your pain :/ I've known since I was about nine..the only reason my parents got married was because my mom got pregnant with my sister, and they despise each other and me. It's the thing that I'm pretty sure causes my depression, since it's an unresolved conflict between him and me but..I don't want a relationship with him. I'm so past that. I go months without talking to him, and then he'll only talk to me to yell at me and the next day think it's fine? No.

The only thing that's really gotten me through it is, since my mom and I aren't too close either, finding an adult to talk to whenever my house gets too bad. It's nice to know that SOME adult can still care, even if the ones in your house don't.
   
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Re: My dad doesn't care about me - June 6th 2011, 05:35 PM

I wouldn't suggest talking to your dad, but I would suggest talking to your mom. Tell her how this all affects you, and that you know they are staying together because of you. Maybe mention that it might be better for you because of A, B, and C. Another thing I will say is, learning how to coexist. It seems as though you are coexisting very well. It's hard when you know a parent doesn't care about you. I think you just need to live your life, the way you want to live it. Form relationships with the people you want to form relationship. Say the things you want to say. Maybe in the future you can have a long conversation with him and really lay it all out. Only when you're comfortable with the idea. Don't rush yourself. I do suggest that one day you talk to him. Just let him know how much it hurt in your childhood. If you come to the point of not wanting to ever make contact with him, then use this talk as closure. Again, I am not saying talk now, but only when and if you're ready. Take care<3


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