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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Qwazi Offline
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Need to get rid of my stoner friends... - June 11th 2011, 09:57 PM


Today, I have decided to draw a line in the sand. No more smoking weed for me. And with it, I am getting rid of my stoner friends, since they are the people that are stopping me from quitting.

There is one problem, and thats my best friend. I share a house with him, and will continue to do so for the next four months. He smokes, he enjoys smoking, and has made every indication that he will not quit. He has said that he would, and to his credit, tried to deny me weed to help me quit, but it hasnt worked. If its around me, I want to do it.

I just feel like shit. I feel I've wasted time, and I feel alone even though I have more friends than I can count. Six years ago, when I was socially awkward, I would have dreamed of such a situation. Funnily enough, the reality is more like a nightmare.

I need to quit in order to have a clear head to ensure my business starts and runs smoothly. I cant be smoking weed anymore, and hanging around with people whos sole concern each day is when and where they are going to pick up.

I've been told I need to find other friends, but at 22 and self-employed, that isnt easy. The "melting pot" of school and college, with loads of people, is past for me. Its them...or nobody.

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NevermindMe Offline
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Re: Need to get rid of my stoner friends... - June 12th 2011, 02:07 AM

Don't smoke weed. Please just don't do it.

You can be friends with them still, just not when they are smoking. I have friends who do stupid shit, and you know what? When they feel like lighting fireworks or drinking I simply don't hang around.

I understand your problem, but friends who will only be your friends if you continue to smoke a potentially harmful drug probably aren't real friends man.

- Justin

"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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Re: Need to get rid of my stoner friends... - June 13th 2011, 01:02 AM

If you need to find new friends in order to avoid the temptation of using drugs, I totally respect and understand that decision. Do what you have to do. Now, in regards to the friend you live with, there's nothing you can do to get him to stop. That's a decision he needs to make, just as you made a decision to stop using drugs. You can always encourage him to quit, and you can ask him to keep the drugs "hidden" (somewhere in his room that you wouldn't know about), and you can choose to leave the apartment when he starts smoking (if you're afraid of being tempted)... but that's about the extent of it. There are things you can do to focus on your own recovery, however, such as going to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings and immersing yourself in preparations for your future business.

College is NOT the only place to meet people. It's easier when you're surrounded by social, young students, but you're not stuck with your group of friends once you leave college or turn 22. Heck, you can continue making friends well into your 30's, 40's, 50's, etc. You just need to put yourself out there, make an effort to get to know people, let them learn more about you, look for people with common interests, and so on. You might meet people at NA meetings, and if you can find the time to join a recreational class or non-profit organization on the weekends, you can meet people there as well. You can also network with fellow businesspeople, going out for meals/drinks with them on Friday evenings. It's a slow process when you're not CONSTANTLY around other social, young individuals, but it's certainly not as impossible as you make it out to be. =)

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Re: Need to get rid of my stoner friends... - June 13th 2011, 10:20 AM

Who says you have to get rid of them? I know what you mean, at one point all my friends did was smoke pot and therefore it was so easy for me to get so deep into it,I'd waste weeks and weeks and weeks. You must have some old friends who don't smoke it you've been neglecting? I just started hanging with other friends who don't do it, and seeing the stoner friends less often. My stoner friends respected eventually my decision, although I continued smoking it at weekends only. If you're throwing yourself into your business I imagine you won't notice so much. Weed is not physically addictive, its psychological. Perhaps indulge in chewing gum or something every time you think you want a spliff. Good luck.

If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires

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Re: Need to get rid of my stoner friends... - June 13th 2011, 04:16 PM

Hey there,

I really respect your decision to stop smoking weed and choosing different friends to help you curb your addiction. I think for now, until you're strong enough, it would be best to not hang around people who smoke weed, because then you find yourself tempted to do it. I would say distance yourself from the people who tempt you, because you're only going to get held back that way.There are things that you can do when your friend is smoking weed. You can leave the house, and go somewhere. Like Robin said, NA meetings is something you can. You have to ready and willing to work the program though. It's not just, show up to meetings. Another thing you can do is take up an obscure hobby. That can really help to distract you from smoking as well. There are tons of things that you can do to distract yourself, it's just a matter of finding the one that is most effective.

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