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Harmony♥ Offline
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Keeping in contact? - June 19th 2011, 05:39 AM

Hey y'all,
I spoke to my father for the first time in months today. I live in Illinois, he lives in Tennessee. I met him for the first time in my life when I was 14 years old, when I visited Tennessee for my cousin's graduation. I wasn't informed that he would be at her grad party, but it was a nice surprise none the less. Since then, we've spoken only about twice a year for the past 7 years, at Christmas time and on my birthday. I was upset when he didn't call me on my birthday and since he moves around a lot, I didn't know if his phone number had stayed the same or had changed.
I got the surprise of my life when he called me today, and said that he had indeed been moving and had missed my birthday. As much as I've talked down about my dad, I really do love him and wish that he was a huge part of my life, which my mother never allowed him to be. They had broken up before she found out that she was pregnant with me.
He does ask me about my life, and I ask him about his but our conversations never last more than five minutes at a time. It begins to get awkward when the two of us run out of things to say to each other. However, he wants some updatd photo's of me, and my boyfriend since the last photo he has of me was from my high school Senior prom 3 years ago when I had been in a relationship with someone else.
Do you think I should start by wanting to get to know him better through letters? It might make our phone conversations less awkward. And, I was thinking about visiting him this summer, which would be amazing. But, I'm a little nervous, it has been 7 years after all.
What do I do? Is what I suggested a good idea? I'm thinking of writing him a letter today, or sometime soon with the updated photo's, and asking him to tell me about himself, to tell me about his family that I've never really know aside from his older brother, who passed away a few years ago and my aunt, whom I met at the same time I met my father.
Just thinking about this makes me want to cry because I'm desperately confused on what to do.
Help!?











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Re: Keeping in contact? - June 19th 2011, 06:25 PM

It seems like your father is a decent guy, Shannon... it's just awkward because you don't really know each other on a personal level. You care enough about each other to stay informed, but it's hard to truly open up to someone who is essentially a stranger to you. I think the letters would be a good idea, or maybe just e-mails every couple of days, where you ask questions (both fun and serious) back and forth.

If that works out, you could consider adding him as a friend on Facebook. I know, I know... parents and Facebook = NO! BUT, if you use Facebook often, this could actually be a great way for your dad to see what you're like. He could view photos you and your friends have uploaded, he could read your posts and get a feel for what you're like on a day-to-day basis, etc. And you could view all of his information in return. That's totally up to you, though... it's worked for one of my friends, which is why I suggested the idea.

Whatever it is you decide to do, I wish you all the best, as always. =) I hope you have a wonderful Father's Day... don't spend your day feeling sad! Look forward to all the good times you could have with your father in the future, and maybe you could have a second Mother's Day instead. xD Or you could pretend your boyfriend is an old man and wish HIM a happy Father's Day. =P





   
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Harmony♥ Offline
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Re: Keeping in contact? - June 19th 2011, 09:43 PM

Robin,
Thank you so much for that.

However, Facebook is out of the question. I use it often, and I've tried to find him several times, but he doesn't have one. He's from a small town in Tennessee and I doubt he even knows how to turn one on. He wasn't very educated as far as I know, but I know he is living with a woman who might actually have a Facebook. I can try finding her and seeing if that were the case. Also, e-mail too. Not sure he has one of those either.

I would love to get to know him more, and what he was like when he was younger and what kind of stupid idiotic things he has done in the past. I want to know if I'm like him in any way. We don't exactly look anything a like, just around the eyes and the nose. He's tall and I got my mother's height.

I just want to know more. I've tried asking my mom, but she hardly knew him either. She didn't even know how old he was, or when his birthday was so I had to ask him. I felt like an idiot for not knowing, but he understand why I wanted to know.

I'm hoping this letter thing works out. I was thinking of making a list of questions for him to answer, and telling him to make me a list of questions too.

Thanks for your suggestions though. They are greatly appreciated.











I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant




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