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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Welcome me, I'm new!
SaveMeFromThisHell's Avatar
Age: 27

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Join Date: June 30th 2011

Someone help me - June 30th 2011, 08:44 AM

I'm sorry this is long.
Ever since we were young, my sister would always lash out at me and hit me if I ever did anything to anger her; it doesn't take much to piss her off. I would always take the punishment and never hit her back because I am a boy and I just don't think it's right for men to hit women. For a while, the hitting stopped because on this one day, I grabbed her hands to make her stop hitting me and told her to stop. She screamed for me to let go of her hands and I guess I grabbed them pretty hard (adrenaline rush maybe?) because they hurt her for months. So bad that it hurt her to even close her hand around a pencil. She doesn't care about what other people think; if anyone in the family, especially me, makes a mistake, she puts that person down and swears at them like a drunken sailor (even in front of our much younger brother). With me, she often resorts to physical violence whether it be with a knife or bat. We've been arguing over stupid shit recently and I apologized. She doesn't give a fuck. If she does something wrong, all that matters to her is that so-and-so did this to make her late to her date or made her mad and its her job to make their life hell. If she makes a mistake or fucks up, she just dismisses it or acts like it was nothing.

This is where my problem starts.
Recently, we got into an argument while coming home. It was just her and I. She locked me out of the house and when my grandma opened the door, she yelled "I told you not to open the door" and tried to slam it on me. I held the door open and she just kept swearing at me and making me feel like shit like she always does. She poked her head and neck out from behind the door and something in me just snapped. I grabbed her neck (In total honesty, I enjoyed grabbing her by the neck, even if it was only for about 2 seconds) and pushed her away from the door so I could walk in. She swung at me and grabbed jumper cables and whipped me with those a couple times. I grabbed her wrist, twisted it, and pulled it behind her back. She went into my room and grabbed the electric guitar and tried to hit me with it. I told her to "get the fuck out of my room" because I felt an intense urge to punch her and have my revenge for all the years that she pushed me around. When she continued her assault, I pushed her out of my room. She hit the wall really hard.

This is the first time I've taken any physical action against my sister that was intended to hurt her. I've been pushed around and bullied by her since we were toddlers and I have never intentionally hurt her or fought back in self defense. My parents never really did anything when she beat me up and I didn't do anything but take the beatings. I have scars on my face from her scratches and hate her. Every time I even think of her, my desire to beat her up grows a lot. I'm fed up with it all. I'm tired of being pushed around, bullied, and beaten and I'm tired of holding back. Something in me has changed. I want to hurt her and get back at her for all the times shes made my life miserable. I went into her room this morning to get the car keys. She was motionless and I was hoping she was dead. I saw her breathe and was disappointed.
What do I do?
I've been running and going to the gym for 3 years now to vent my stress and anger. That doesn't work anymore.
I want to cut my wrists so bad. I tried talking to my best friend about my problems but he never seems to understand. He tells me "You can't hate your sister, shes family." I fucking hate his stupid responses. If that's what a family is, I don't ever want anything to do with one. I hate it that he doesn't understand and just calls it a phase or looks down on me because I'm bitching about a little girl half my size picking on me. I want to punch my sister in the face so bad. I'm scared that I will beat her up.
I have so much anger built up inside I feel like I'm going to crack at any moment. I just don't know how to cope with it anymore.

Someone help me please.

I'm losing control of myself.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Someone help me - June 30th 2011, 04:18 PM

first off: im really sorry ur going through this, and i just want you to know that even if the rest of my reply doesnt help much, im still gonna be willin to listen and offer advice wen u want it...
ur right, family shouldnt be like that, but you should not resort to violence. u can really hurt her because, well, your a guy and shes a girl; and as much as you mite want to hurt her back, it isnt the right way to deal with things.

You are obviously a good person, i mean here you are asking for help instead of lashing out at ur sister, i wish i had a brother like you.
Do you have anybody in ur family that you can really talk to? maybe the grandma that u mentioned? the first step would be to actually talk to them and see if they can help out. and maybe you could convince them to take you and your sister to a family counciller so that you could pinpoint the problem and try to solve it...

If that doesnt work maybe you could talk to your sisters school counciler? see what she thinks the proper way to deal with this situation is.

And please dont vent your anger at yourself or anybody around you, be patient. I really find that meditation helps me keep calm. Wat i do is spend an hour each day out in the park or on the porch cloud watching. seriously, it helps. i try and clear my head, so i stop myself from thinking about any problems i have. Then i watch the clouds and the birds. I feel refreshed afterwards. try it

I really hope i helped. be strong, you can control yourself. be free, dont tie yourself down with hate and anger.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
RawrCar Offline
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Re: Someone help me - July 1st 2011, 03:29 AM

It sounds like a no win situation to me... If she's your sister and you're forced to be in contact with her then... I don't know.
You obviously can't fix her, since she's been like that since you were toddlers. It's more of a personality problem than a mental problem. Now, you've already done more than you can, putting up with your sister who sounds like a person I hate just hearing about her, but if you're going to survive, you're going to need to become Super Man, basically. Nothing can bother you at all. Do anything possible at all to relieve the stress and avoid her. Make a new key! Get a lock on your room! Anything at all possible

Nothing is worse than going to court over something that wasn't worth it. And the way you've described your sister, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what she did if you lost control.
The wrist-cutting is a problem, but as much as it pains me to say, a better alternative to beating up your sister. That move could make the rest of your life a struggle. My Dad knows how this feels. He's told me countless times not to do something dumb that could make your life a hassle.

So... hold strong as long as possible. Best of luck.

-I could just fix all your problems with a bunch of fancy quotes I made up over the years, but I'm not going to. You know why?
-Because you can't remember them?
-Shut up! No one asked you!
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Someone help me - July 1st 2011, 03:48 AM

Thanks guys. sunz, I love nature because it makes me feel free, happy, and relaxed. I'll take your advice and spend some time gazing at the sky but I'll do it at night. I love the moon and the stars haha =). Talking to my family won't really help; as long as she's not bothering them, I guess they're okay. She only acts like this when she's with family only. To friends and the outside world, she's a completely different person. Seems super nice, friendly, and funny; I feel really bad for her boyfriend haha. One day, he will see her true colors and it will literally hit him like a bitch slap. Once again, thank you both. I feel so much better talking about this and I will do my best to be strong and continue holding back. I'm going to try to resist the urge to cut myself haha.
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