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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy No one cares? - July 3rd 2011, 02:21 AM

So, I just graduated from high school. It has been a month since graduation, and none of my friends have contacted me to get together and I'm feeling left out and lonely. I feel like while they might not mind being around me, they don't particularly care about seeing me because NONE of them have initiated any kind of contact. I have emailed some of them, and have tried to make plans but mine and their schedules haven't worked out yet. I'm 99% sure they are not avoiding me, they are just busy working. But I'm feeling really unwanted, and it's really stressing me out. My friends and I have mostly had the same friend group through high school, but it started breaking up during junior year. We all sort of kept hanging out with each other, but there were littler groups and a little bit of drama between the little groups. I guess, my question is, should I keep trying? Or am I completely unlovable? Any advice would really help me out. Thanks so much.


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CanadaCraig Offline
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Re: No one cares? - July 3rd 2011, 03:08 AM

Hi Love09!!

What's going on has NOTHING TO DO with how lovable you are.

It's often a difficult time when we're in that 'in-between' place. You have left one part of your life behind and are now facing a new part. And sometimes in that transition - we must lose in order to gain. That's just how it is. And sometimes that means saying 'good-bye' to people who are headed off into a different direction. Their NEW path might not be the one you are on. And as much as that might make us feel not-so-great it's actully OK. It's just one of the many things we go through as we become increasingly mature.

It's time for you to MOVE ON and look FORWARD. There is a wonderful life just waiting for you. With lots of really great people and lots of fantastic experiences. [IF that's what you're looking for!!]

If you still wish to let your 'old friends' know that you might like to see them - that's fine. Just don't waste YOUR LIFE waiting for their response.

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Craig!!
   
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Re: No one cares? - July 4th 2011, 01:00 AM

Hey there! I just graduated from college, so I know exactly how you feel! To make matters worse, I moved 45 minutes away to live with my dad (until I start graduate school in the fall), and most of my friends (including the ones who graduated) are choosing to live in the same city for the next year! So basically, even though many of us graduated, it feels like I'm the only one who had to undergo a drastic change and "start a new life", while all my old friends continue to hang out.

This is absolutely, positively the best advice I can give you: DO SOMETHING WITH YOURSELF!!! Get a job, find a new hobby, learn a new skill - keep yourself busy! Trust me, you are going to feel so much better if you wake up every morning and have a list of things to do. If you find yourself waiting around for friends to become available, I can guarantee that you're going to be miserable all summer. You need to set goals for yourself that do NOT hinge on your friends' plans. Of course, that doesn't mean you should stop trying to hang out with your friends when they have the time... I'm just saying that you should have a schedule as full as theirs, so that if the plans fall through, it's not a big deal. You'll have plenty of other things to work on. =)





   
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Re: No one cares? - July 12th 2011, 12:39 AM

thanks guys!


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