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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Irritating friends - July 9th 2011, 05:35 PM

SO basically I have two groups of friends: My uni friends and my home friends. It annoys me beyond belief when one of my uni friends talks to my home friends without me or without my knowledge and vice versa. I get REALLY angry. I mean they're MY friends, not their friends, y'know?

It's like I feel they have to ask for permission to talk to each other, like I've been betrayed in some way. I don't know why I feel like this but I can't help getting so very annoyed whenever I see that they've been talking. What goes through my head is sort of like "HOW DARE THEY."

I guess I like having stuff that's "mine" if that makes sense. Not that my friends are objects, but you get the picture.

Example: One of my uni friends posted on one of my home friends facebook profile and I actually exploded with rage. Not at either one of them, just like in my room by myself. I don't understand why?

Another example: So I knew a guy and girl separately and they met once through me. ONCE. Next thing I know they get together and start a relationship after she randomly phones him drunk in the middle of the night and he goes to stay at her house. I was livid that they "didn't consult me" and that they had the "audacity to cut me out for one another", even though I saw both of them exactly the same amount as I used to.

Basically, I don't get why this makes me so angry.

Sorry for the length of this I just wanted to get the point across :P

But yeah, does anyone else experience this? Any replies would be amazingly appreciated
   
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Re: Irritating friends - July 10th 2011, 10:33 AM

hi !

thats quite a temper you've got. the best way to deal with this would be to imagine yourself as your guy friend in example 2.

one day you go and meet your friend, and he happens to be with this girl, who you kinda like, you know, at first sight. she seems nice, but you don't dream that anything's going to happen. so there's no need to ask your friend if it's okay.

then one day she calls you when she's drunk. you feel that this may be a sign. after that you start meeting her more and more, and find that you like her and she likes you.
the end.

now did you think about your friend even once during this? in real life, your friend didn't exactly think about you, it was just about him and this girl. thats what happened. dont blame your friends. change your attitude

love <3


Smile It's free

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Yeah, exactly, you can talk about politics in music, you can talk about something else, but that's always going to change, and love is never going to change.- Enrique Iglesias
   
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Re: Irritating friends - July 10th 2011, 02:01 PM

This makes a lot of sense. I was thinking about it last night and was like well why can't we all just be friends together instead of me trying to dictate who can and can't see each other. From now on I'm going to try really hard to not get annoyed when my friends talk to one another xD Thanks for the reply
   
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Re: Irritating friends - July 10th 2011, 02:16 PM

I think that is the best way to deal with it, I know that you've got uni friends and home friends but there isn't any reason why you can't all be friends, you know? Just like I'm sure your uni friends would be happy for you to be friends with their home friends and visa versa. If you just try and calm yourself down and tell yourself that it's cool for everyone to be friends rather then all hate each other which I imagine could be awkward, you might slowly start to be okay with it.
   
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