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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Bestfriends Drifting..? - July 18th 2011, 12:44 AM

Alright, sorry if this is kind of long.. but I feel like I need advice or something.
I've had this best friend for ever. Like.. 10, almost 11 years. Lets call her Ann. We used to know everything about each other pretty much. We were inseparable. We could finish each others sentences, or make absolute no sense but understand each other perfectly. She kept me sane, and I think I did the same thing for her.
School was never a priority of their family. Her parents would take her out of school at the age 10 so she could stay home and watch her little sister and brother..or just because they didn't feel like getting up for school.
Anyways, by grade 10 she was going from home to home. Her parents kicked her out around 8 times in like 2 years and ended up traveling all over to stay with friends, family, and anyone else.
Throughout this whole time we were still best friends. We talked pretty much every day, unless she didn't have a computer wherever she was. Then she would message me whenever she could and we'd keep in touch.
Any whoo through all this and soo much more she landed an hour and a half away from my house. She was living at a house with her boyfriend, boyfriend's friend, lets call him shawn, and all of his family. Ann thought Shawn and I would make a perfect match, so she told me to come down and stay over. Of course I did lol. That's how I met my boyfriend shawn ;3 lol. It was perfect because I saw my best friend and him at the same time. It was a win win! (:
But now, she's living at her grandparents again. And a few days ago I went down and was going to stay at Shawn's the first night, then Ann's grandparents the two other nights.. when Ann found out she was pissed that I would even think about going to see Shawn.. And he had to work when I was getting a ride there so I had to get dropped off at Ann's. So her grandparents knew I was already there..so I had to stay all 3 nights there. But we snuck out ;p
I understand she would be kind of upset, but she kind of has to understand doesn't she?..I mean its one night. And we would be hanging out with her anyways.
On top of all this shit, I;ve been going through horrible depression, and falling into an eating disorder. I feel like I can't fully connect to anyone. And its true..even my friends. I just don't really feel right. Its hard to explain. Ann was the only one that I could fully connect to. We seriously always had a great time together and could help each other through anything.
Seeing Ann a few days ago was the first time I've seen in her in over a month..I was excited to finally connect again! But it wasn't the same.. something changed.
Plus she was pissed at me for wanting to stay at Shawn's. And she most likely has bi polar (it runs in her family). And for some reason I just found her irritating a lot.
So many people don't like her..and I've always ignored them. Hell, she was my best friend! I love her to death. But now I notice what they mean..what they've all been talking about.
I mean she's cheated on her boyfriend soo many times! Yet never forgives him for cheating on her once. He has no idea she's cheated..other than kissing. And now this boy is in love with her, and she had sex with him and partied with him for 3 days and he literally loves her. I've seen him look at her. You can tell ;p And she still has her boyfriend! But is sneaking out all the time, and hanging out with this boy whose fallen for her.
Plus she's always getting pissed off at people for no reason. Or for the stupidest things. We've never fought but we actually had an argument over something and then even admitted to it being our first argument. Lol. But she treats other people so horribly and shit.
I feel like we're separating, we aren't as close. And I just found myself getting irritated by her.. I don't know.
I'm tired of writing.. advice? )x

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Re: Bestfriends Drifting..? - July 18th 2011, 01:13 AM

It sounds like Ann has been through a lot... and I mean a LOT. I can't really blame her for treating other people like crap when her own parents have treated her like crap. Some people rise above their negative circumstances and become better, stronger people as a result... but many do not, or it takes them a while. So while Ann's behavior COULD be partly due to an undiagnosed mental illness, you can't know with absolute certainty. What you DO know is that she's had a rough life - and while that doesn't excuse her behavior, it certainly explains why she acts the way she does at times.

You know Ann best, so you should decide which mention is best... but I think you should talk to Ann about what's going on. You and Shawn are dating now. He's not going to replace Ann, and you're not going to ditch Ann for Shawn from now on. You do, however, want to make time to visit him, just as you want to make time to visit her. Try to get her to see things from your point-of-view. =)

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