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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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dipka Offline
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Unhappy Losing a Teacher - July 18th 2011, 09:32 PM

Well, this may seam a strange place to poast this from the title-since a teacher is generally not a friend or family, but it was either here or in death or greaving so I picked here.

Basicly the problem is that the teacher who is currently my English teacher and is also the KSYA leader (KSYA is our school's charities team, we do loads of fundraising for childeren in Kenya and are all really close) We've shared a load of good times doing thiings as part of the KSYA group. But she leaves on friday and Im dredding it.

The fact that she is going back to university to studdy how to set up a chairyty is a slight constilation (knowing that she is going for a 'good' reason) but we still need her with us!

Also today, this same teacher saw me crying (i was angry after group wrok) and she came to me, she got me to talk and she was really helpfull. I just cant face leaving her.

Even though I know that she will join us on facebook (once she leaves) and she has prommised to come back whenever we do a special event, but it still wont be the same.

What can I do?


Finally, Im thinking ahead a bit to when I leave school next year. Im already dredding it, The summer concert last Thursday bought that into reaility, seeing the year 11's at the front their getting their medals and Im thinking 'that will be me next year'. Im getting really emotional over it all. Theri are also some other teachers (such as my amazing math's teacher) who I cant even think about losing yet.

Please, any surgestions?


You have just read Dipka's forum post. Dipka is a HelpLINK mentor who is allays happy to help, please just let me know. Also, check out my profile for more about me
Dipka x


IMPORTANT!! When replying partiqually if I started the tread please can people read
the following thread
http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f122-...ngs-propperly/

In that thread poast 6 clearly state's what coulors I can see best so please can you use these if possible so I can read your reply.


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*what does not destroy you as a warrior makes you stronger
*the tree that is slowest to grow bears the sweetest fruit
*when the sky is at it's darkest is when you can see the stars
*Ancient stone cannot be polished without friction, nor a warrior perfected without trials
*The warrior who has the ability to move mountains begins by carrying small stones

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Re: Losing a Teacher - July 18th 2011, 10:04 PM

Hey, Dipka! Change is never fun. Sometimes, it can be downright terrifying! We all have to face it at various points in our lives, though. You mentioned that your teacher is returning to school so she can learn how to organize her own charity, and that this thought gives you some comfort. So you've already discovered one way of coping with change: looking at the bright side, thus changing the way you think about a situation. It's easy to focus on all the negatives... "I won't have So-and-So teacher anymore", "I'll have to find a new group of friends", "I'll have to move away from home when I go to college", etc. There are ways to change from negative to positive ways of thinking, though.

When you feel all those thoughts overwhelming you, stop what you're doing and go somewhere private for a few minutes. Think about each negative thought and gradually come up with more positive thoughts for each of them. For example, your teacher is pursuing her personal goals, and you may end up meeting another awesome teacher in her absence! You may lose touch with old friends, but you may meet some amazing new friends after graduating. Moving away from home can be scary, but living in a dorm room can also be very exciting.

Another thing you can work on is accepting that change will happen - both now and throughout the remainder of your life - whether you like it or not. You can choose to fight the change and dwell on how you wish things could be, or you can choose to accept the change and focus on how you want things to be. This is similar to thinking positive thoughts, but instead of merely thinking about the positive aspects of a situation, I'm going to encourage you to get up and do something about the change in your life. If the organization you're a part of isn't as enjoyable without your favorite teacher, find a way to make it enjoyable again. Perhaps you could begin to work on a small project and ask your friends to help out. You could also look at other organizations at your school that may be of interest. When your teacher leaves, there will be a small hole in your heart... but you can fill that hole with other relationships and enjoyable things. It doesn't have to remain a gaping wound - you can treat it!





   
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Re: Losing a Teacher - July 19th 2011, 07:30 PM

What you're going through is some hard stuff! There have been times in my life where I've had teachers I adored and I would have to move to the next grade or different schools. It's hard to deal with it, because it truly does feel like a loss. Feeling better after losses take time. You have to allow yourself time to get through these losses. For now, I would enjoy the time that you have left with her. And when she is gone, stay in touch with her as much as you can and feel comfortable with. Maybe you can arrange a time to get a cup of coffee with her sometime in the future. Things are going to feel different. Use this oppoturnity as a way to create different and stronger bonds with this teacher. Nothing lasts forever, so cherish the time you do have left with her and keep communication with her the best way you can.


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