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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Urg. - July 27th 2011, 11:34 PM

My aunt's been causing a lot of stress in my life lately, really. It's gotten to the point where I can't even visit them. Them being my grandparents, whom she still lives with at twenty-three. She used to be my best friend.

I unfriended her on Facebook after a particularly bad occurence earlier today -- in which we both had raised voices. I was sticking up for my younger siblings, who she was babysitting and was being -- and had been -- unfair to since my mom started working last week.

I love her, as she is a member of my family, but I just can't take the stress. She's making me angry and sad and driving my self confidence into the dust with her preaching and her endless -- senseless -- bossing and pretty much just being cruel to me all the time.

After she tried to initiate contact with me even though I'd unfriended her, and told me that she only wanted what's best for me in life, and tried to guilt me into an apology, I pretty much sent her a message telling her that she was causing me unnecessary stress and that I felt that I needed to not talk to her for a while. She's bullied me in some shape or form ever since I was a small child, and I'm done with it.

I told her I loved her, but I couldn't deal with it. After I sent it out, I blocked her, and I'm not going to visit her or anything anymore, until I settle down and feel that I can handle talking to her again. It's what I did with some of my old friends at school who treated me the same way, and it worked for them. I just told my aunt practically the same thing I told them.

Just, someone, please tell me whether I did the right thing. I'm nervous and I don't feel good about myself for doing this, yet I knew it was necessary. I'm afraid my dad will get mad at me, and my mom, too.


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Re: Urg. - July 27th 2011, 11:49 PM

Yeah, your parents will probably be a little upset with you, and here's why: what works on similar-age friends doesn't always work on older family members. Your aunt may not be *old* like your parents are, but she is still your elder (technically). Your parents may see the whole Facebook message + blocking incident as immature... a "stunt" you could use with friends, but not appropriate when it comes to family members. This is just my personal opinion, of course... but if I did something like that to my aunt, my parents would want to know why I didn't call my aunt, or talk to her in person, or tell my parents what was going on. They'd view a Facebook message + blocking as childish. So if it's really bothering you, I would tell your parents what's going on with your aunt, then call your aunt or arrange to talk to her when your parents are present. If you still want to take a break from talking to her afterward, that's fine... but give her a chance to make things right.





   
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Re: Urg. - July 28th 2011, 01:16 AM

Well, the way I see it, she's had tons of chances to make things right. Every time I end up talking to her, she pretty much just glares at me and won't apologize, and I end up apologizing to her, with no apologies in return. Like I said, she's did stuff like this to me ever since I was a small child. A baby, even, if you count that she used to pinch my toes and make me cry.

I'm actually a little less afraid, now, because my mom blocked her, as well, and my dad approved of us both unfriending her and blocking her. My mom and I were talking about it coming up the road, and she's perfectly okay with it.

This girl, in my eyes and in the eyes of my mother, is not an adult. Even my dad and her own father admits it. She sits up there with no job, no social life, and tries to dictate our lives to be the same as hers.

If she wants to talk about it, then fine. But this time, she's coming crawling to apologize to me, and not the other way around.

Sorry, Robin. Just had to rant a bit, lol.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
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Re: Urg. - July 28th 2011, 01:41 AM

You don't have to apologize! =) Hey, I'm glad your parents feel the same way. Sounds like you're ALL trying to save yourselves a ton of heartache. Hopefully, your aunt will come around sooner vs. later, and be a more loving, responsible member of the family. Until then, focus on the more positive aspects of your life (like your upcoming date!).





   
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Re: Urg. - July 28th 2011, 01:49 AM

I plan on doing that! I can't wait. And I really hope that negativity just goes out of my life and I get a more positive outlook on things, and have a more happy, peaceful existence. And I think that doing this will help a lot.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
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