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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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VampAnxiety14 Offline
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The Drunken Man - July 29th 2011, 03:29 AM

My father is an alcoholic though he won't admit it. We have a game that we play to act like we're a family - World of Warcraft - and it goes great.... until my father begins his first round of drinks. It goes from laughing and having a good time to yelling and letting us fall a part just a little more. I'm not worried about the next four years of me being here because if he lays a hand on my mother I will make sure that's the last move he ever makes. What I am worried about is after those four years - after I'm gone and my mother is here alone with him. What would happen if he hits her while I'm away, or if he get enraged and storms out? She'll be the only one there - her depression would take over her, her blood pressure would rise, her body would give out, she'd pass out - and she'd go right back into heart failure. I can't have that happen! I want to get free from the wretched drunken man I'm supposed to call a father, but I don't want to leave without my mother. If I lose her I'll have nobody.
   
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Re: The Drunken Man - July 29th 2011, 04:15 AM

I think you should try talking to your mother about this. If you just show her that you want her in your life as healthy and functional as she can be and that you love her so much that you don't want to lose her than maybe she'll be able to make a deal with you and say she'll take care of herself so long as you take care of yourself and do awesome in college or something. You can use teamwork to do this or you can just sit down seriously and talk to her and basically lay out your concerns and your feelings towards her and the thought of losing her. Either way you need to tell her how you feel but I would also recommend not feeling like this is her fault. If she is hit by her husband while he's drunk than she needs to be able to talk to her husband about this and sort it out with him and she needs to be able to take care of herself rather than have you take care of her. Children caring for parents is not a good situation. In that case, if she can't care for herself the most you can do is just care for yourself and make sure you are healthy and strong so no one can hurt you. Your mom's health should not be the root of your happiness and your relationship with your mom should not decide your happiness. You should decide your own paths and moods and be selective as to what to take on in life. Sometimes you can't change people. And sometimes the saddest thing in the world is knowing you can't change someone that you love more than the whole world. PM me anytime and I'm sorry to be so saddening here but it is a huge HUGE strength to know how to help yourself! BELIEVE ME!!!
   
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