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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Misslostintears Offline
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i hate him - July 31st 2011, 09:27 PM

i hate my dad with everything i have. hes not even there for me or my sisters or mom. he "works" until late hours and comes home screaming for food. most of the time he doesnt even come home until like 3 days later. he calls saying he needs to stay over night and "work". thats never true. he is pretty abusive too. he hits my mother and sisters. but not me. i fight him when he gets near me to hit me. i take was ever is close by and use it as a weapon. i speak foul words in 3 languages at him (spanish, english, and japanese) and that stops him most the time. he has always been a bastard, going out with other women, doing things.
my mom and i used to travel back to my birthplace. when we would get back the apartment was always, messed up everything broken and thrown around. we stopped traveling due to problems and have been getting the worst part of life. he tries to be suportive once in a while but he gets all angry when i look at him. he says me eyes are like the devil watching him.
he always goes out and fishes or goes to amusement parks. and he doesnt take us. the last time we all went to an amusement park was when my 9 year old sister was 1 year old and my other sister had not been born yet. we always ask him ever summer "can we go to an amusement park" he always response by hitting us. not even to the beach. and now that im old enough to have a boyfriend or friends that are boys over the apartment. he acts like mr. macho man. just friday i was at the mall with my friends (1 girl 2 guys) and i was leaving. so one of the guys came up to me and hugged me. (really usual) my dad got all mad and picked up MY friend, took him outside, and started beating him up for touching "his precious little angle" like if i was some special limited adition fishing rod of his. thankfully my friend is alright. and when i got home, i started screaming at him and he was like "your my little angel, i will not have any guy touching you" i screamed at him saying he never cared shit about me, why start now. and i realized why. he said that because he is a perverted old man who only wants to do things. and since my mom can barely move he looks at me with ugly devil eyes. im beyong hate for him. i dispise him. i practically disown him as my father multiple time. thank good im leaving right after high school but im worried about my sisters and my mom. how can i leave them with such a bastard?


IN MY FIELD OF PAPER FLOWERS AND CANDY CLOUDS OF LULLIBIES, I LIE INSIDE MY SELF FOR HOURS, AND WATCH MY PURPLE SKY FLY OVER ME - IMAGINARY BY EVANESCENCE

to love someone is such a beautiful thing,
Keep it in your heart forever
And show it when you need to
   
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Re: i hate him - July 31st 2011, 10:12 PM

My question is why is your mother still with him. I think it ought to be smart to get help and go to a different location. That is not a healthy environment for you, your mother, sisters. Your so young, make a difference <3


Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

'A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible.'
   
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Re: i hate him - July 31st 2011, 11:05 PM

I agree with Kelly. Sit down with your mom and siblings when your dad isn't around. Come up with a plan - how you're going to move out of the house (find people with vehicles who can help move boxes and heavier objects), where you're going to live (with other relatives, with family friends, at a battered women's shelter), when you're going to file a restraining order (here's a link for the laws in Connecticut), and so on. You'll probably want to talk to the police about all of this beforehand, so that your family will be protected throughout the entire process. You'll have to be brave and put your faith in other people, trusting that they will not let your dad hurt you or your family members. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it in the end, when you are all freed from this tremendous burden and no longer have to worry about what will happen if your dad's behavior escalates.





   
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Re: i hate him - August 1st 2011, 04:12 AM

my mom is with my dad because she has a health disability, orthoritius (i think thats how you spell it). we tried moving out a couple of time but he would always find us. and relatives dont work because they hate my mom. well my dad's family hates my mom. my mom's family lives far away and her mother, father, and sister were kiled when she was 14 ( she's 45-46 now) and her other family happen to like taking the things we have away from us. family friend's are very very few. mostly they are my friends because my mother doesnt have friends (she doesnt get out of apartment). talking to the police wont help either even though my godfather is a policeman. they didnt do anything when we told them. the only people who truely have help me and my mom and sisters, have been the few friends of mine who have seen the voilence and have defended us.


IN MY FIELD OF PAPER FLOWERS AND CANDY CLOUDS OF LULLIBIES, I LIE INSIDE MY SELF FOR HOURS, AND WATCH MY PURPLE SKY FLY OVER ME - IMAGINARY BY EVANESCENCE

to love someone is such a beautiful thing,
Keep it in your heart forever
And show it when you need to
   
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Re: i hate him - August 2nd 2011, 06:19 PM

this makes my heart melt
I'm so sorry your going through this. Here is what I get out of it.
Your dad LOVES your mom, your sisters and you SO very much. But he does have a problem. And he's struggling through it. It would be nice if you all sat down and talked for a few hours under supervision and talked about how each of you feels.
Maybe your dad's telling the truth. Maybe he's working his but off to help you guys a little.
But when you curse at him and yell and say mean things, what else is a dad supposed to do? Hitting your family is the only way he can get out all of his anger. And how he feels.
I can't even imagine yelling at my dad.
I don't know how things work where you live but, I really think you should hear your dads side of the story. Fathers are a gift and you only have one. Appreatiate it and accept him for who he is. Tell him "I love you, Daddy!" When you see him, and have a real smile on your face ...Something WILL change.

I really hope all goes well Best of luck!
And remember; all families are UNIQUE. and thats what makes each soul SPECIAL. <3
Sincerely, ~mialynn
   
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