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Religious Parents vs. Virginity - August 4th 2011, 01:22 AM

So.. I haven't been a virgin for about 4 months. My parents are also EXTREMELY religious and hold very opposing views to sex before marriage... which is what makes telling them so much harder. But I know I need to. I'm not allowed to be alone with my girlfriend because my parents were afraid of me having sex. But I did anyway. I don't want to not be allowed alone with her because my mom is afraid of something that's already happened. So I figure the best way to deal with it would be to talk to my parents and tell them I'm not a virgin and that they need to give me space and possibly be more open to the idea of me making my own decisions. I have always been safe, but I still need my freedom and privacy. What do they expect will happen to me when I'm in college away from them, anyway?

How do I break the news to them and possibly get them to realize that I am able to make my own decisions?
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Re: Religious Parents vs. Virginity - August 4th 2011, 02:25 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp! =)

If your parents' views about pre-marital sex are really that strong, then chances are they'll crack down even harder on you. In their minds, it doesn't make sense to say, "Oh well, he already sinned, might as well let him keep sinning." They'll want to prevent you from having sex again, for as long as they can. I don't think you can use the "I'll-be-out-of-my-element-in-college" excuse with parents like yours... all they are thinking about is how to protect you for as long as they can. They know the real world will catch up to you eventually, but they probably believe that if they can use this time to instill religiously moral values in your heart, you won't fall victim to the world's temptations.

I can't tell you whether or not to tell your parents. That is ultimately your decision, and I think you can argue for or against disclosing personal information like that to your parents. I do want you to consider all the possibilities, however. You seem to believe that your parents will be forced to accept what you've done. Based on what I've seen happen with many of my friends, parents will NOT yield to their children, not when strong religious beliefs are involved.

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