TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
**********
 
Ambedo.'s Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,585
Blog Entries: 26
Join Date: July 19th 2011

I Lost Their Game. - August 4th 2011, 04:33 AM

I've been playing for five years. I didn't even realize it was a game back then. I just thought it was my parents constantly slinging insults at me. But when so many more joined in, I realized it was so much more than that. I think I hit the wall a couple days ago. It just took me some time to notice it. The other day, my grandma was talking to me and my cousin. She said that no one should bother making people with emotional issues a part of their life because they'll only be a burden and bring everyone around them down. She doesn't know I struggle with depression. But that doesn't matter. The effect was the same. The words were the same. Tonight, my dad started acting like he knows me better than I know myself. He acted like he knew what was going on in my head and like he knew what I wanted . . before he even bothered to ask me about it. He talked to his friends like I was a character in a book, someone fake, rather than a real person with feelings. That's when I caught on to the fact that it's their little game. I've been playing for five years. Tonight, I knew I lost. I'm done fighting. There's no reason to anymore. Things go by their rules now. I'm just a discarded, broken piece.


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
The screwdriverneedsgas!
I've been here a while
********
 
Green Yoshi's Avatar
 
Name: carwithnogas
Gender: Male
Location: Cute Dinosaur Island!

Posts: 1,870
Blog Entries: 18
Join Date: January 13th 2011

Re: I Lost Their Game. - August 4th 2011, 05:30 PM

you are not a discarded , broken piece.

Your family has just basically did a very bad thing of thinking that you're someone that doesnt need to be understood .

they are very wrong.
I think you are someone who is just misunderstood by a bunch of people around you who are just not smart enough to realize what a supportive, wonderful person you definitely are. You have to get out there. you have to like... find other people who you know will appreciate you better. Some people out there are people who give their all to their friends, to avoid offending them, and to avoid making them sad.

ALL THAT. just to see you smile.

those are your true friends. im sure there's people like that out there. They are people who will treat you as someone with feelings, and treat you with respect, knowing that your smile is the most wonderful thing to grace the world.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,034
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: I Lost Their Game. - August 4th 2011, 06:43 PM

I agree with the above poster. You have to get outside of the family. Unfortunately, while many families are supportive, many are not. The parents see their children as extensions of themselves... they aren't treated like individual people with unique feelings and interests. Connecting with friends and other people (ex. coworkers, classmates) outside of the family can help you feel free again. It may also give you the courage to confront your family someday. When you're isolated, however, it's very hard to see past what your family thinks of you.





   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

Outside, huh?
**********
 
Ambedo.'s Avatar
 
Name: Sam
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,585
Blog Entries: 26
Join Date: July 19th 2011

Re: I Lost Their Game. - August 5th 2011, 01:49 AM

Thanks guys. (: I know I have great friends that would do a lot to see me smile. I just worry about becoming a burden on them. But you're both right. Having a family that can't support me or talk to me without making me feel like scum is definitely grating on me. I spent about 7 hours trying not to cry last night because of how low they made me feel. That's not healthy. Do you think it would be a bad idea to cut off contact with them after I move out?


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,034
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: I Lost Their Game. - August 5th 2011, 04:13 PM

I would completely support your decision to cease contact with your family after moving out. That is actually what I did with my mother, who was verbally abusive. She was out of town on my 18th birthday, so I packed up everything that mattered to me, called my dad, and left that very day. She called about a week later and asked if I was okay. I told her I would be at my dad's house until I left for college, and that I would meet with her again when I was ready to do so. Needless to say, we didn't really talk that first year. With each passing year, however, we slowly started talking to each other more often, and we would arrange short get-togethers. It has been four years, and we have reached a point where we can be around each other for several hours at a time. Unfortunately, anything more than that, and she falls back into her old habits. When that happens, I leave. She knows I don't have to put up with her abuse any longer, so she actually tries to be a better person when we see each other approx. once per month. I don't know if we'll ever be a close mother/daughter couple again, but I DO know that I never thought I'd make this much progress with her in four years' time. =) I honestly think ceasing contact with her was the first step toward improving that relationship.





   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
game, lost

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.