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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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just a stranger Offline
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Confused and concerned about an ex-friend - August 11th 2011, 10:49 AM

Hey this is a bit complicated so really sorry for the length- I’m unsure of what to do?
Ok so there’s this guy and we were becoming close and I would have considered him a good friend but the whole time I liked him as more than that. So I told him and he said that he didn’t want to hurt me and that he wanted to stay friends… and he was soooooo nice about it. So then when we got back to school I’d make an effort to talk to him nearly every day and I’d text him but he’d never reply.. That’s when it all went pear shaped. I called him and then he unblocked me on facebook (he’d blocked me as a joke) and told me that I was bugging him and that he thought I was being more than just friends. Seeing the mess I’d created I tried to fix it but now instead of funny and carefree he was angry and mean. I talked to him on facebook when he was upset and all he said was “Leave me alone” which I stupidly didn’t. So then we weren’t friends and I was sad but ok about it but then a facebook group was made about us saying “my name then his name sitting in a tree xoxoxoxoxox”. This greatly upset me and then that night I tried to talk to him on facebook about it but then he ignored me and blocked me again. So I tried to text him but he ignored me for the whole weekend- I went really over the top and sent him 14 messages and then the police rang me saying that I had to stop texting him. This REALLY FREAKED ME OUT. And I learnt my lesson- for anyone who doesn’t want to learn it the hard way- make sure you talk to people face to face unless absolutely necessary because when you talk to people through text or fb there’s no emotion and the other person always has the chance to not reply. So I was fine about it and trying to forget about him but I see him every day at school and I might be being paranoid but everytime I glimpse him he looks sad. Before we stopped talking he told me something that had happened to him that had made him less social around people and I fear that he’s not talking to anyone- he always seems so distanced from people and I believe that at least at school I am one of the very few people who actually understand him. He also said that he was struggling with school but still I can’t help feeling like I’m to blame for causing him extra trouble. And I’m wondering what to do? Is it ok if I acknowledge him when he walks passed? I don’t want to smile at him because he might take it the wrong way and plus he might hate me so smiling might anger him. Its only been 5 days since the police call so I realise I’ve got to give it time but should I let myself hope that one day I might be able to talk to him again? Would I get into trouble if I talked to him in person? I definitely will never talk to him on face book or by text again but if I try to talk to him in person can it be counted as stalking?
   
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Re: Confused and concerned about an ex-friend - August 11th 2011, 04:55 PM

hey umm I guess just give him some space see how it works out, but if he is still sad and ur worried about him just talk to him tell him that ur worried and let him no that ur there for him if he needs to talk (just. As friends).
   
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Re: Confused and concerned about an ex-friend - August 12th 2011, 03:42 PM

I really think you should drop it. He hinted at not wanting to really talk to you when he joked about blocking you and what not. He then was straight forward and said "leave me alone" and then you didn't , which resulted in him calling the cops. If you text someone or talk to someone after they ask you to leave them alone- it's harassment. I hate to say but he simply does not want to talk to you. It spelled out perfectly and clearly. I know you're worried about him, but right now he does not want to talk. I'd give it more time before talking to him. And I mean a lot of time. Then when you do talk to him apologize to him for not leaving him alone when he asked and that you were just worried about him. Also say you're always here for him in the future if he needs you. But if he doesn't respond or says "leave me alone" then you need to respect that and just drop it.


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