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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ThePolarPanther Offline
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Name: Amber
Gender: Other

Posts: 52
Join Date: June 30th 2011

August 14th 2011, 04:01 PM

My family is a total wreck. They've destroyed my goals in life ever since i was a little girl, and they tore down my confidence in myself. I admit, it's hard for me because i have my brain damage i wouldn't/won't have been the person i had/want to be. Ever since I was a little girl i've had this goal- In high school i was going to be popular, athletic(volleyball and soccer mainly) and have really good grades and get awards and be really outgoing. What am i now? Im shy, i hate gym class, i get 60's in my classes, ive never gotten an award, and im in the outcast crowd in school. Im in grade 12. I personally think my parents might have had something to do with this. They never encouraged me to play sports, they made me feel worthless by calling me names when they were mad at me(Caused by brain damage) like slut, whore, bitch, idiot, ect. Now, i can't even have a civilized conversation with my parents when there mad or confused or frusterated. They interrupt me, and(i know this for a fact) my mom exaggerates/lies to get her way. Also, if they want me to do something, like i have 2 jobs atm and theyre wanting me to quit the one(which i prefer over the other job) but there saying 'its your choice' well no its there choice and if i say i want to keep the 2 jobs they will take turns yelling at me until i change my mind. I can only go out 4 nights a week until 11pm. I cant even look at my work sceduale to see if i can change a date in town with my dad(social insurance number, new phone, ect.) so i can fit in going to strathclair and sleeping over with my friends(which ive been trying to sceduale since june) without them yelling at me, not letting me talk, them saying im pathetic, and them refusing to let me go to strathclair and them refusing to get me my social insurance number, new phone, replacement drivers lisence, ect. What do i do? THEY WILL NOT LET ME LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND IF THEY DO THEY WILL NOT LET ME TAKE ANYTHING AT ALL THEY WILL TAKE ALL THE MONEY FROM MY BANK ACCOUNT AND TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME. IVE TRIED TALKING TO THEM, NOTHING CHANGES. HELP. I PREFER MY BOYFRIEND'S FAMILY OVER MY OWN FAMILY AND IF I SPEND MORE TIME OVER THERE THAN I DO HERE EVEN IF IM JUST IN MY ROOM WITH THE DOOR SHUT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES THERE UNHAPPY. WHAT DO I DO! I CANT CALL ANYONE EITHER AND SCHOOL COUNSELLER DOESNT HELP.

I am just not talking to them atm or just saying clipped word to questions they ask. My brother gets involved in these fights, and he takes my parents side or says something to make me feel like im worthless and stupid.

~:: ~ :: ~

Last edited by PSY; August 14th 2011 at 09:47 PM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Re: Family - August 14th 2011, 09:56 PM

Once you turn 18 (or whatever the age of adulthood is in your part of Canada), you should be able to create a new bank account and transfer all your funds. If your parents refuse to give you critical information or legal documents, you can call the police and explain the situation to them. They can't withhold your money once you're an adult, nor can they prevent you from taking your possessions from their house. I'm pretty sure doing so would be criminal on their part.

Since you're still in school, I would talk to a guidance counselor about your situation at home, and ask for advice/support/assistance from people in your community who may be willing to work for free. For example, my school counselors would refer students to psychologists who would offer free consultations, as well as direct students to members of the police force for legal/criminal concerns.

I can definitely see how your parents have affected your self-esteem and motivation to excel at school; however, there is only so much you can blame on them. The problem with blaming them for everything is that it gives you an "excuse" to become complacent and stop trying altogether. There are things you can do to bring your grades up... stay after school to talk to your teachers, or use some of the money you're earning to pay for a tutor. Instead of making time to see friends, use that time to study. It's not easy to concentrate on things like schoolwork when your parents are constantly putting you down, but look at it this way: if you can graduate from high school, you'll have better job opportunities in the future. You may be able to get away with working one job instead of two, and you'll be able to move out of your parents' house sooner vs. later. It will also be easier to see friends when you no longer have to answer to your parents. Stay focused on your long-term goals, Rayleena! =)

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