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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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TheQuietGirl Offline
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Name: Abigail
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Angry I have never hated somebody.. - August 15th 2011, 08:53 PM

Which makes me 110% certain I hate my mother. I have never, in my life, despised and truely got p-ed off at anybody so easily.

When I was younger, my mother hit me. In the face, a lot of the time. She still does occasionally, but I learned if I defend myself, she usually doesn't as much. So I have a major flinching problem because of this. She bullied me as a kid, and I still remember the horrible things she has done.

Anyway, she's a horrible parent. She literally doesn't care about me. I have no doubt in my mind. Back to the issue at hand.

I had my first day of soccer pre-season, and I'm putting 5 layers of sugar on it when I say it wasn' the most fun thing ever. (I have a badly torn ACL)
I had told her, many days in advanced, every day (Especially the day before) that she had to pick me up at noon today, from the soccer field. Guess who didn't show up, or answer my 6 calls.

So I had to go back to the city campus of the private school I play for, and my dad works there, but he is WORKING so I was basically sitting in his office for a few hours, not doing anything. She texts me with the NERVE to tell her I said that "he" (because she is a total child about talking to/about my dad) was going to pick me up. This was my fault apparently.

I NEED my haircut tomorrow, for a school pic and then the 9th grade retreat Wed. I TOLD her this. I got paid.. last Friday (summer job), and I was going to pay for my hair cut. She refuses to call. I say "why? Ma, they need this pic and I need this weekend to get all new clothes" (uniforms, basically). She says it's because she wants to pick up a TV for herself from her friend.

....*gunshot* I used to cut my legs (I blamed it on my neighbors pushing me on the gravel road, but that never happened) and I'm about to start again... I hate her.

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TheQuietGirl Offline
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Re: I have never hated somebody.. - August 15th 2011, 09:24 PM

I was just trying to talk to her about it. She said (these are exact quotes, it JUST happened)
"You told me that he was picking you up at noon"
I said "No, I said he was taking me, and you were to pick me up at noon"
Her "Oh, so now it's noon? You told me 11"
Me "You..Wow"
Her "You didn't even tell me what time to pick you up until the day before"
......I still told her she needed to pick me up, and I told her the time.

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Re: I have never hated somebody.. - August 16th 2011, 09:27 PM

Hey there, Abigail! It sounds like your mom isn't very nice... not to mention pretty forgetful. You may not be able to change her attitude toward parenting and your father, but you can give her more effective ways to remember what needs to be done, and when. I would try the following:

- Leave a note for your mother, every day, where she will definitely see it, stating what you need to do, where you need to be, when you need to be there, etc.

- Buy a wall calendar and put it where she will definitely see it. Write everything down on that calendar and remind her to check it every day.

If that doesn't work, start looking for alternate ways to get the things you want. For example, since you have money from a summer job, you can pay for bus fare and go to the hair salon on your own. You can also go behind your mom's back and ask your dad to help out. ONLY do this AFTER the notes and calendar fail to work with your mom. Give her a chance to redeem herself. If she doesn't seem to change at all after a week or two, take matters into your own hands by taking the bus, asking your dad for help, asking friends' parents for rides, and so on. If she objects, you can tell her you had no choice, since she failed to remember everything you wrote on the notes and calendar.

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