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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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abreacti0n Offline
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Help ! My friend is talking about running away and suicide - August 20th 2011, 05:59 AM

Last night she sent me a text message telling me she'd run away, and she did do it but now they found her again, I'm scared she's going to try running away again.
She has also been talking a lot about suicide, but she never wanted to talk to anyone or open her heart to anyone.

Right now i can't talk to any of my teachers because its summer, and my parents are certainly not the type to talk to about this stuff. Secondly i'm afraid that if i spill the beans to someone my friend will lose her trust in me and fight with me. What should i do? please help!


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Re: Help ! My friend is talking about running away and suicide - August 20th 2011, 05:48 PM

First things first: why did your friend run away? If there is something going on at home (ex. parents abusing her), you can call Child Protective Services and explain the situation. If your friend is simply rebelling against her parents or trying to gain freedom from her parents' control, sit down with her and explain why running away ultimately will not solve her problems. It would help if you could answer the question I presented, because then we could offer tips on how to talk to your friend more effectively. =)

If your friend has stated that she is going to attempt suicide, you can call the police and have her placed under a 72 hour psych watch. Some places only hold people for 24-48 hours, while others will hold people for longer if they continue to pose a threat to themselves or others. It might help to confide in a trusted adult first, THEN call the police and explain the situation. You may not be in school right now or have the best of relationships with your parents, but what about your friend's parents? What about a neighbor, coach, or even another friend's parents? You are 14 years old, and this is a lot to handle on your own.

Finally, I want to leave you with a hypothetical question, one that I have asked many people in situations similar to yours. Which would you rather have: a friend who trusted you but continued to be "at risk", or a friend who didn't want to speak to you but was getting help for their problems? Oftentimes, in order to truly be a good friend, we need to go against our friends' wishes and do what is best for them in the long run - even if it means losing their friendship. I have been in this situation myself, and ultimately, the friend forgave me for telling an adult what was going on. If I hadn't done what I did, they would be dead - and I would rather know my friend was alive, even if they never spoke to me again, than feel guilty for being a "good" friend by watching them die.





   
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Re: Help ! My friend is talking about running away and suicide - August 20th 2011, 06:49 PM

She said she's really sad at home, and that she couldnt take it anymore, i tried to see if there was anything else or why she was being so sad but she wouldn't want to talk about it.

I have sent a facebook message to my school counsellor (but still no message back) and i tried phoning my own country's (Malta) supportline but it's engaged all the time!

She didn't tell me that she will commit suicide, but this morning she was miserable and i stayed talking to her all day long, then she seemed to get better but she might only be faking it, so i'm not even sure if she's in danger or not! but she's been sayin stuff like 'i am so better off dead' and im scared

I have talked to my sister, but she really didn't take it well, she started shouting saying i should have talked earlier and she is right.

i really don't know what to do


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Re: Help ! My friend is talking about running away and suicide - August 21st 2011, 03:45 PM

Firstly get her out the house,do stuff with your time..I know this is completely different to me,but when ever i spend days in the house id feel down and depressed and feel the whole world is against me and that my life sucks.

So first of all,get out the house go bowling do something,if your low on cash make a habit of camping for three days,she will talk eventually but she won't say much,find out what is causing her to feel like this.
Plan what your going to do with your lives in the next month and what you'd like to achieve and help eachother do it.
She needs to get out of this horrible runt and feel like she's doing something..

If you talk to her parents they are more likely to confront her,so i'm not sure how or if you should approach that,ummm is there another help line for advice..I know if you phoned the police in the UK worried about someone feeling suicidal,they wouldn't make effort to watch out for that person because they class that as time wasting..
Umm hopefully others can give more advice and help you out here.
   
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