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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Average Joe
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Unhappy being second best - August 26th 2011, 04:33 AM

Okay so I have two really bestfriends right now named lily and deanna. Deanna tells lily everything and, it hurts. What's wrong with me?? I get that there are things that things that she doesn't want to tell me but still I hate being considered second best. And me and deanna fight alot so I don't want to loose her but I'm kind of tired of being "unworthy" of not knowing what's going on. And the worst part?....she does it right in front of me and tells lily stuff. Should I just give up??
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SparklingWine Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: being second best - August 26th 2011, 04:53 AM

Hey there. If the friendship means that much to you, then I wouldn't give up on it. I would try and talk to your friend Deanna when Lily isn't around. If Lily isn't around, then you might get Deanna to hear your side. If she is around Lily, then she might act differently. I would tell Deanna that while you totally get she is allowed to have other friends, you're also feeling a bit left out. I would also mention the fact that you know she tells Lily things right in front of you, and that it's obvious to you, and it hurts your feelings. If you two fight a lot, then maybe it's worth mentioning something like "I feel like we've been bumping heads a lot lately." And maybe suggest hanging out just you and her. If she can't make changes in the friendship, then it might be best to start hanging out with other people. Friendships are two way streets. She needs to put in her part.

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