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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Veni Vidi Vici Offline
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Unhappy High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 1st 2011, 09:01 AM

Hello guys, something's been really bothering me lately, and I guess I just sort of want to rant and get opinions from you guys...

So I just graduated from high school this past june. Yeah, things are changing quick; it's only summer and it feels different already... As college approaches though, something has really been bothering me to the point of feeling abnormally sad..

So here it is: Do high school friendships last after high school? I'm saying this because I've heard both sides. Some people I know are well into life and still in contact with their high school friends. Others haven't kept in touch with ANYONE which seems kind of sad to be honest...

I really want to keep in touch with mine, but I've got to admit our group (myself and 3 others) don't really have the strongest bond holding us together. At the end of the day, we're all great buddies and love spending time with each other but we're also always fighting, excluding someone, and not really hanging out much. For example, it's summer and we've hung out only about 6 times and no one is too keen on changing anything..

I know making new friends is good, and change is healthy but like a lot of people, I've always dreamt of going into my fifties with the same old high school friends and just reminiscing about some of the stupid things we did in our teens . I will most likely make new friends as I'm pretty good at doing so, but at the end of the day, I also want to keep in touch with the people who experienced things like my first kiss, or first girlfriend. You know, people who have been there for those 'important' experiences in life..

Anyways, any input? Do you guys (post high school - ers) still have a relationship with anyone from high school in your life? If so, what did you do to preserve it? Thanks!


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Re: High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 1st 2011, 09:22 AM

Hi Carpe Diem.

Yes, I did manage to preserve some friendships from high school, but I think it was mainly down to the fact that we went to the same college too, as since college ended we have spent less time together. We are still friends, but not as close.

I think that with any relationship, the key is communication. Even if you don't see each other a lot, make sure you take the time to send your friends a message to see how they're doing. Ring them for a chat now and again. Just them knowing that they are in your thoughts can be enough to preserve the friendship. Obviously, it is important to still see each other face to face once in a while, but the meeting shouldn't be the responsibility of just one person.

Don't be surprised if some of your friends move on and make new friends. Not all of them will be as sentimental about high school friendships as you. However, if you make the effort to stay in contact, it's likely that you will remain friends with some of them.

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Re: High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 1st 2011, 11:03 AM

I think leaving high school really proved to me who my real friends were in a way. You'll find that some people really try to stay in touch, and others couldn't care less. I've kept in touch with a specific group of people, and strangely enough they're not actually the people I was the closest with at school! We organise catch ups via facebook, and probably all get together for dinner or a night out once every 1 or 2 months. We all went to different unis and did different things, so it's hard to see each other more often. After school finished I remember there was a period of a few months where catch ups were really hard to organise and no one was really going out of their way to plan anything...but it got better It's inevitable that you're friendships with some people might be lost, but if you can manage to get everyone together every now and then, you'll probably find that your friendships with some get stronger! It definitely takes effort at first but if you start making catching up a regular thing, then it will become routine and friendships won't be so hard to maintain. if you can find out if anyone you know from school is going to the same college/uni as you, maybe text or facebook them and ask if they want to catch up for lunch or something before it starts so you can talk about it. You could also make a facebook event and invite your high school friends, like to go get a drink, or whatever you guys usually do, on a certain date. That's what my group does and it works well!


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Re: High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 1st 2011, 05:01 PM

My sister stayed close friends with all her highschool friends. They still did stuff together a couple times a week, and really it wasn't much different than highschool.

I don't know if it's the same for everyone, but it certainly is possible to stay friends.

- Justin



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Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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Re: High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 1st 2011, 05:49 PM

In high school, I had a circle of friends I stayed close to and I just graduated this past June. This summer, I haven't spent any time with them whatsoever and now some of them are going to college out of state, some in state. But it seems like they forgot about me. It's sad but I realized who my true friends are.
   
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Re: High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 2nd 2011, 04:58 AM

The same thing has happened to me as did to believe.in.hope! None of my friends have ended up caring enough to try to get together, so I think they were friendships not meant to be! :/ I definitely wished the same things, Carpe Diem, but unfortunately (I guess) some people don't share the same wish! I know I'm counting the days till college!


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Re: High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 2nd 2011, 06:24 AM

Some of my high-school friends went to the same university as I did and since we had common interests, we were in many of the same classes for 1st and 2nd year. Once 3rd and 4th year rolled around, we took different courses, however, still kept in contact either by MSN, Skype or meeting up. Other friends from high-school I kept in contact with for a bit by e-mail, MSN or Skype, however, I eventually made new friends at campus and dropped many old friends except the ones who go to campus with me.

If a friend doesn't contact you, it doesn't necessarily show they're a bad friend or you had a poor relationship. As you said, it's a huge change and they're busy, they may not have time for you. I'd feel sad if my friends did nothing but mope and cry all summer about the changes, as a result I'd more than likely tell them to man up or drop them as a friend altogether. I'm glad my friends went with numerous changes before university started.


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Re: High School Friendships AFTER High School? - September 3rd 2011, 07:50 AM

I guess you guys are right, If it lasts, it's because we had common interests and we actually valued our friendship. If it doesn't, then it just wasn't meant to be..

I've already met new friends, so I'm sure I'll have new friend circles in the new future. I'm gonna try to the best of my ability to keep the old friendships going, but if the others don't, then at least I can say I played my part right?

Anyways, thanks a bunch guys. I was really blaming myself for these semi - broken friendships but you guys made me realize keeping friendships alive goes both ways. I'll see where this goes, but won't dread too hard on it if it doesn't work out.

Thanks for the advice guys!


Carpe Diem: Seize the Day/Moment. -Horace

Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered -Julius Caesar
   
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