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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Mollie. Offline
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daad - September 4th 2011, 05:27 AM

I don't even know why I'm posting this, its probably really stupid.
These last few years my dad was sort of always a bit distanced from me, thats sort of one of my reasons for depression, the way hes acted hurts me. Then almost a year ago he started seeing someone, and this year hes been even more distant, hes always at her house.. He is so ungrateful for everything i do, its like he just wants to forget about me and join his girlfriends family, when someone else is around, he ignores everything i say/do. Today he came home and was instantly at me to do something, he always says stuff that basically is his way of saying im lazy.. anyway He stood behind me today and said "Me and Liss decided to move in together, it will be in the next 12 months, the tihng is everyone has to share, you and your sister are going to be sharing a room, the thing is its her house, you guys won't see me, it'll only be a weekend thing" and he asked if i was okay with it, and i felt bad saying no so i said yes even though i almost started crying, im really reeally not okay with it. He already spends the majority of his time with ehr and her kids, we've only met her kids once, and her about 5, i dont know how he expects us to get to knwo them.. He makes me feel so unwanted.. and it also means i have to spend more time at my mums, coming here is like an escape for me, i cant handle staying at my mums.. I just hate it so much. sorry if you read all this, i just really dont knwo what to do about it, i need advice..


5.5.11
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Re: daad - September 4th 2011, 09:31 PM

I'm sorry to hear this . I really think you should tell him how you feel.
Let him know that you're happy for him, and you don't have a problem with his girlfriend. Explain how you feel quite distanced from him, and it's upsetting you. From how he checked that you were okay with the arrangements, it sounds like he definitely cares about you. Sounds like there's just a communication problem
Good luck! <3


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Last edited by SnapCracklePop; September 4th 2011 at 09:37 PM.
   
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Re: daad - September 4th 2011, 11:00 PM

Hi Molly.

I agree with Annie. The fact that he wanted your opinion means he does still love you. And if he wanted to forget about you, he wouldn't be asking you to go with him.

I can see why you don't want to move in with his girlfriend, but it might not be as bad as you think. You say you're already unhappy with the way things are now and maybe your dad is too. Once he is settled in your new home, he won't have to spend his time traveling to and from hers, so perhaps he will make more time for you? Plus, the novelty of seeing her may even wear off. After all, there's only so many hours people can stand to be together before they need a break.

You may even find you get along well with her children. Perhaps ask your dad to arrange some times for you to meet them, so that you're more familiar with each other by the time you move in together?

This might be your chance to be part of a lovely extended family, so don't automatically assume it will be a bad experience.

Take care.

Jasmine. x


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Can build a bridge across the stream..."

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Re: daad - September 4th 2011, 11:12 PM

Sometimes it's easier to put your words down on paper as opposed to having a conversation. I think you definitely should tell your dad how you feel.
   
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Mollie. Offline
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Re: daad - September 5th 2011, 06:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairy Poppins View Post
Hi Molly.

I agree with Annie. The fact that he wanted your opinion means he does still love you. And if he wanted to forget about you, he wouldn't be asking you to go with him.

I can see why you don't want to move in with his girlfriend, but it might not be as bad as you think. You say you're already unhappy with the way things are now and maybe your dad is too. Once he is settled in your new home, he won't have to spend his time traveling to and from hers, so perhaps he will make more time for you? Plus, the novelty of seeing her may even wear off. After all, there's only so many hours people can stand to be together before they need a break.

You may even find you get along well with her children. Perhaps ask your dad to arrange some times for you to meet them, so that you're more familiar with each other by the time you move in together?

This might be your chance to be part of a lovely extended family, so don't automatically assume it will be a bad experience.

Take care.

Jasmine. x
I know he does, just the majority of the time he doesn't act like he does. He wasn't asking me to go with him, he was just telling me that I could only visit him on the weekends, in all honesty I'd rather live with him.. but i can't.

He has time after work to spend time with me, but he doesn't.. I just sit down stairs by myself for hours, and hes always on the computer playing games and whatnot.

He always says he will do more things to let us get to know each other but he still hasn't. I don't think it will be a bad experience, I just don't know how I'm going to go being there when I'm socially awkward.. and they probably won't even talk to me..


5.5.11
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
-Aristotle

The one who
makes you cry
isn't worth your tears.
The one who
is worth your
tears would never
make you cry.


  Send a message via MSN to Mollie.  
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FairyPoppins Offline
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Re: daad - September 5th 2011, 12:08 PM

Then, as the others suggested, you should tell him how you really feel.


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Can build a bridge across the stream..."

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