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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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My mom's husband - September 26th 2011, 08:01 AM

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Okay, so after the last time my mom left me home alone for a week she probably won't ever do it again. BUT ANYWAY.

She's going to town for a week and you know, instead of letting me stay home alone like the responsible young adult I am, I have to stay with her husband at his house. WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS THE MOST FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION EVER. We both hate each other, and he's made it more than clear that I'm not exactly welcomed in his house. But yeah, right now that's what's happening.

Even worse I don't have the car this week and my mom is making me come home like IMMEDIATELY after school. Usually I stay out until like 10 or 11 but nope. This whole week I have to be home by like 7 or I'm gonna get the cops called on me and reported as a runaway. So I'm like "SHIT, THAT SUCKS."

And seriously IDK what to do about this situation. It's so dumb. I hate him. I don't want to stay at his house. I would RATHER spend the week in police custody than with him, and I told my mom and she doesn't care. So what am I supposed to do?
   
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Re: My mom's husband - September 26th 2011, 04:49 PM

Well, you're 17 and I think you're old enough to stay home alone, especially if you've shown maturity and responsibility.

Maybe you could consider spending the week with a friend? Do you have any siblings you could stay with?
   
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Re: My mom's husband - September 26th 2011, 04:59 PM

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Originally Posted by asian persuasion View Post
Okay, so after the last time my mom left me home alone for a week she probably won't ever do it again. BUT ANYWAY
What happened the last time? Maybe it's something you can dismiss but your mom cannot?

Actions have consequences, and until both are addressed, they often come back to haunt you. Try to resolve that last situation so it doesn't affect mom's judgment and decisions about you in the future. But, as an FYI, you might try adjusting that attitude a bit, parents typically don't give into open challenges, they respond best to a bit of humility and awareness. Remember, she has something you want.


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Re: My mom's husband - September 27th 2011, 12:12 AM

Seriously. She let's me spend a summer in Europe but not a week at home alone. I'm about to leave for college in less than a year, what is she gonna do then?

I'm not allowed to stay at other people's houses overnight and nope. Only child.

Last time... Haha well honestly, nothing bad. I just stayed up until like 6 AM which I do anyway regardless of who's home. She just doesn't trust me at home alone for some reason because I'm a teenager and she thinks I'll do something stupid like throw a wild party or something.
   
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Re: My mom's husband - September 27th 2011, 12:28 AM

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Originally Posted by asian persuasion View Post
Seriously. She let's me spend a summer in Europe but not a week at home alone. I'm about to leave for college in less than a year, what is she gonna do then?

I'm not allowed to stay at other people's houses overnight and nope. Only child.

Last time... Haha well honestly, nothing bad. I just stayed up until like 6 AM which I do anyway regardless of who's home. She just doesn't trust me at home alone for some reason because I'm a teenager and she thinks I'll do something stupid like throw a wild party or something.
Nicole, it sounds like there's another side to this! If she let you go to Europe for an entire summer then clearly she's able to give you freedom and responsibility, something must have altered her perspective here, maybe more than just staying up all night?


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Re: My mom's husband - September 27th 2011, 12:33 AM

Well, there really isn't anything. Like literally last time she went out of town i had the perfect opportunity to do whatever I wanted. But nope. Went to school on time, came home at a decent hour, etc, etc. So I don't see what the big deal is.
   
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Re: My mom's husband - September 27th 2011, 12:40 AM

Nicole, then her behavior is inconsistent, she lets you do some things on your own (like Europe), and yet with others, she cannot. Ask her why, find out why, and try to respond non defensively.


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Re: My mom's husband - September 29th 2011, 01:48 PM

I think you should talk to her. From all the above posts, I gather that she's being unfair. Talk to her when she's in a good mood. Be calm. Don't lose your temper or anything.


   
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Re: My mom's husband - October 1st 2011, 12:33 AM

Well, you should go talk to her and tell her how you truly feel. 'Cause if you don't, then she'll never know that her actions [and her husband] is bothering you. That's all!
   
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Re: My mom's husband - October 2nd 2011, 03:30 AM

Since she let you spend the summer in Europe, it's clear she put faith in you being responsible. I think her rationale is a lot simpler though: he's her husband, you two don't like each other and she views this as a time for you two to hopefully bond a bit better. In other words, she wants the family to have better bonds and given you're leaving for college soon, this may be a rare opportunity she's capitalizing on, so it's pretty much a "now or never" situation.


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My mom's husband - October 7th 2011, 02:26 AM

Well, that was basically about the worst week of my life. Broke the 10pm curfew every night, never spoke a word to the man, left the house before he woke up every morning just so we wouldn't have to see each other... IT'S PRETTY EXHAUSTING HAVING TO GET UP THAT EARLY.

And I haven't been home since my mom got back.

Yeah we're a pretty dysfunctional family unit. Blah.
   
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