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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Ashes2493 Offline
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Need Advice for a Friend - September 30th 2011, 06:40 AM

I don't know if this goes here so feel free to move it.

So, lately my best friend has been living at my house, because her parents are arguing and fighting 24/7 and she can't take it anymore. Her mom told her yesterday that they are getting a divorce and she is taking it really bad. She comes to me because, I guess I'm her rock. She tells me everything and I usually have pretty good advice, but now I don't know what to say. I don't know how to comfort her on this one. Usually whatever she's going through I have been through, but not this one.

What I'm asking for is advice to tell her, how to comfort her, anything. I'm new around divorce issues. (And it really doesn't help that her parents are getting divorced on her birthday )


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Re: Need Advice for a Friend - September 30th 2011, 11:43 AM

Getting over this thing will take some time.
What you advice you give her depends on the whole situation.
The parents are getting divorced does not mean that their relationship with her will be affected in any way. Yes there will be changes in her life, but there's no way to avoid it. If her parents are just not meant to be, then she has to accept it. Its like a person can have two best friends both of whom can hate each other.
Then there's the question of "Why Me?"
The answer to it is simply, its not just you. No one gets nothing and no one gets everything. That is the balance in the world. If you really look around you, maybe even see people with proper families, you might feel that they are happy. But when you really look inside a person's life, you'll see that they have there own problems in life and they have as much unhappiness as you and sometimes even more.
So count your blessings. Her parents may not have a relationship with each other but they both love her. You'll find so many people whose parents love each other but don't give a damn about their children. See what you have, not what you don't have.



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Re: Need Advice for a Friend - October 2nd 2011, 04:10 AM

Well she is sticking with her mom through this because her dad is being really mean to her mom. The reason why they are getting divorced is because her dad is cheating on her mom and he just straight out told all the kids, he doesn't love their mom anymore and he is leaving her for another woman, and is going to force her mom and the kids to move out. So my friend pretty much hates her dad and she straight up told me that once they are divorced her dad is dead to her.

So maybe that clarifies how hard this is on her, and how mean her dad is to her. So I guess this isn't going to be an easy divorce.


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Henry Thomas 12/15/2010

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You're gonna be fine Don't hold it inside
If you hurt right now, then let it all come out
Breathe - Ryan Star

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Re: Need Advice for a Friend - October 2nd 2011, 05:12 AM

Sometimes there's nothing you can say. This is something that your friend is going to need to deal with on her own terms. What you can do is be there for her. She's gonna be going through a lot of emotions and what she needs more than anything is a soft place to fall. Be there for her, listen to her when she needs to vent, let her scream when she needs to scream, and leave her alone when she needs time to herself. Just don't push her to talk if she doesn't want to. That's bound to make things worse. Praying for you and your friend.


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Re: Need Advice for a Friend - October 3rd 2011, 08:31 AM

Sometimes the only thing you can do is be a shoulder to cry on. I think that there isn't really a whole lot to say or do, as she has to deal with this on her own. What maybe you can do is give her something else to do. Something to take her mind of the divorce. Go to the movies or something. Just be a friend and as you said, "her rock".


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Re: Need Advice for a Friend - October 3rd 2011, 10:57 AM

Just be there for her. Follow the advice of the above posters but there will be times when she'll need some pep talk to get out of it. That is what I needed atleast.



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