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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xxxskittlesxxx Offline
helloooo :D
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I CAN'T STAND IT - March 22nd 2009, 07:25 PM

i'm 16!!!!!!
1-6! S-I-X-T-E-E-N
not 10!!!!!
my mum treats me like a kid! i'm 16 and i have to ask her wether i can go down the road for an hour to see my mates and my boyfriend!!!!! its rediculouse! i got no homework to do , i've already had a bath and my schoolbag is al ready for tomorow yet i still cant go owt! all i'm gonna be doing is sat doing fuk all on the computer! I CAN FEEL MYSELF GETTING REALLY ANGRY shees allways doing this to me then gets in a massive arse if i put my ideas forward! she depresses me!
i just cant live here no more!!!!!!!!!


You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


I AM A BANANA



imi , sophie , me
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kathey Offline
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 22nd 2009, 08:04 PM

Been there, done that.
Once you get to uni things get better, honest - you can have your own life then.



   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
xxxskittlesxxx Offline
helloooo :D
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 22nd 2009, 08:07 PM

but i want my own life now =[


You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


I AM A BANANA



imi , sophie , me
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Kathey Offline
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 22nd 2009, 08:09 PM

I know.
Have you tried talking with your mum?
Thing is, mums can have a hard time with us girls growing up. It's not like they learnt it at school what to do as their daughter starts to become a woman. And they're influenced by how their mother handled their growing up.



   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
MadPoet Offline
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 22nd 2009, 08:22 PM

Maybe you should talk to your mom about how you feel about this. She shouldn't be treating you like a ten year old. Maybe just sit her down and tell her that you feel as if you aren't being treated the way you want to be by her, and you want her to trust you enough to do certain things without asking. She might just be having a hard time. While you want your mom to treat you as your age, she might be having a hard time doing that. Talking to her might resolve some of the conflict, right? Best of luck. x





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 22nd 2009, 08:31 PM

You could always explain it to her just like you did here. You have all your work done, you are ready for tomorrow, and you're going out for a while. Just let your mom know that you wont be too long and that you just want to hang out with your friends. I'm not sure what kind of argument she's putting up if you have already done all you can do.

I think a sit down talk is in order with her as well. Try to do this when she's in a good enough mood.

If she still doesn't listen, then just go with what she says. There's not too much you can do. She is your mom and overall gets the final say. You wont live there forever, don't worry.


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Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 23rd 2009, 03:53 PM

I can understand how frustrating this situation must be for you and I can definately relate because I've felt the same way in the past too.
First of all, try to realise that your mum is not doing this out of spite or some kind of plan to make your life as miserable as possible, her intentions are more than likely to all be very much in favor of your safety and well being and she thinks she is doing the right thing, the problem is that she is probably not looking at things from your side or considering the way you're feeling about having some social freedom.
I think that you need to explain your feelings to your mum, in a calm, non-accusing way, explain that you do not want to go against her wishes but you really feel that you need some breathing and growing space to have fun and enjoy time with your friends and that you want to prove to her that you can be responsible and look after yourself in the outside world. Let her know that you do not want to go against what shes said or rebel against the house rules and for that reason you would much prefer it if she would give you the permission to go out, rather than there being huge arguements everytime you try to step out of the door. After all, you do have the right to your own freedom and time of enjoyment. Tell her that if she gives you a curfew, you promise to be home by that time, you need to show her that the things she is trying to protect you from and is worried about, are purely just fears in her head that you are not going to let come true.
It is a little too much to wish for a life completely of your own at sixteen especially when you're living with parents/guardians, there needs to be mutual respect of each other, giving the right ammount of space and freedom but also following rules and boundaries, without being too extreme, there needs to be a balance.
Mums find it hard to accept that their children are growing up and that they suddenly have new desires to do new things and become more independant, and they often feel that they're losing their sons/daughters so they make a desperate effort to keep them close and not let them go out of their sight. But I think what your mum needs to realise, is that by trying to keep you close and protected at all times, she is actually pushing you further away and causing anger that could ultimately result in tension and arguements in the house.
Speak to your mum, if she gets angry and refuses to listen, remain calm and do not give into the temptation to get angry back and start argueing, maybe start off by saying you do not want to argue, you just want to talk to her about how you've been feeling recently, and it would really mean alot to you if she could listen to you.
I really hope things can be resolved and you can start to feel better soon =]

Michie <33


*and maybe its a little selfish..
all I have is the memory..
Did I ever stop to wonder..
Is it possible you were hurting worse than me?
but still my hunger turns to greed..
because what about what I need?
whos gonna save my soul now...


|| why would I need to go outside today?
when your face is my sunshine..
and your words are my stars...<333||


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Last edited by Michii_<3; March 23rd 2009 at 04:00 PM.
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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 23rd 2009, 04:52 PM

To be honest if i were you i would just ignore your mum and go out anyway, although that's probably not the best advice. I nknow how frustrating it can be when you just want to go out and see a few people yet your parents don't understand and it feels like they're just being awkward for the sake of being awkward.
Unfortunately i think you just gotta roll with the punches and suck it up til your old enough to move out, because at the end of the day when you're living under her roof you go have a bit of an obligation to at least hear her out with what she wants you to do.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I CAN'T STAND IT - March 23rd 2009, 08:45 PM

hey sophie.

i understand that some parents can be rather constricting.. but the fact is that they do this for your safety. The main thing is that she's doing it too much. to the point of making you feel like you're trapped in a cage..

the most important thing to remember is to make sure she knows you're responsible enough to take care of yourself. i'm sure that you are show her that you are and that her worries are unfounded i'm sure you can do all this. Grasp your childhood and enjoyment i for one believe you deserve every part and all of it .

always up for a chat in case you want support


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