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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Horrible girl "friends" to deal with :( - November 30th 2011, 12:12 PM

I'm gna keep this as short as i can! So basically i have a really mean group of 4 girl friends in college that i have to deal with. It started off all fine but then we drifted apart when i gt a boyfriend in college whom i obviously got close to. (i personally think thy're jealous of us)now i just feel like a frikkin misfit all the time coz the 4 of them are real close! Now we've got our exams going and they didnt even let me know they were group studying! when we hang out its real fun! But all of a sudden they become all mean. I know i've done absolutely nothing to hurt them. Then why leave me out?? I cant hang out with the guys all the time, but this has been my group for 2 n a half yrs now. nd i have another 1 n a half yrs to deal with them. It just feels so horrid and lonely!
Any advice on how i can deal with this situation? Anybody else felt like this before? Would appreciate any good relevant advice. Thanks in advance
   
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Re: Horrible girl "friends" to deal with :( - November 30th 2011, 06:44 PM

I think the best thing you can do is just talk to them, ask them why they're suddenly being distant and ask if there was something you could have done to upset them. You may have done something without realizing it. If they ARE doing this because they're jealous of your boyfriend, maybe you shouldn't be friends with them, maybe find another study group.


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Re: Horrible girl "friends" to deal with :( - November 30th 2011, 09:00 PM

This happened to one of my friends (a girl) when she started dating another one of my friends (a guy I lived with). She had to find new friends and stop living with them because of how terrible they treated her. The problem was that she was dating her best-friends ex boyfriend, the guy I lived with (the girl had broken up with him after cheating on him).

My advice is to try and connect more with them, but if they push you back, then find new friends and a new place to live. There are other people at your school who will like you and treat you better.



   
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Re: Horrible girl "friends" to deal with :( - November 30th 2011, 09:38 PM

I'm assuming you live with these 4 girls on campus or near campus. Chances are, they became jealous of your boyfriend and thought you neglected them, which may very well have been the case. However, colleges have numerous students so you can find other friends.

If you don't live with these 4 girls, then I don't understand your frustration and have no sympathy. Leave them and find other friends. I wouldn't bother trying to re-connect with them because it's obvious they don't want you around and only act kind to you in order to be polite and not cause a social disruption. If you were friends for more than 2 years, the damage you caused (intentionally or not) must have been severe, so it will be very difficult to repair it.

Similar things did happen to me in high-school as well as university. At first I did try to mend the relationships but when I saw it wasn't working, I cut them off and found other friends. Several ex-friends did try to repair the damage caused but at that point I had little interest in reviving the friendship.


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Re: Horrible girl "friends" to deal with :( - December 1st 2011, 02:24 AM

I think that you should try to talk to 1 or 2 of the girls when they are AWAY from the group. Tell them you feel that they are mad at you; ask them if they are? They will either lie, or tell the truth. If they tell the truth then you know what is going on and you can do something about it. If they lie and say nothing, then you know that you are best moving on.

If you give it time, I wouldnt be shocked if the group eventually splits up anyway. Things happen.

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Re: Horrible girl "friends" to deal with :( - December 1st 2011, 11:40 AM

Thanks a lot for the replies guys Nah talking to them at this point is out of the question! its a lot about them being all united when it comes to such things.. well what hurts is that the entire sem we studied together, they even used my notes! nd when it comes to finals i'm suddenly not included in the study group??
That's just plain mean. I just feel a li'l horrid that i dont have any best girl friends in colg! Nd to put up with being treated like this for another YEAR gets me so depressed. I dont understand why they run from hot to cold on and off. 1 day they're being all nice nd the next it's weird nd distant. I know they have no issues with me so far coz we used to hang out together all the time. I guess i just feel lonely coz i'm kinda left in the rat race to study nd do well all alone(without these girls i mean). Besides changing groups is outta the question. its too late.
   
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