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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Whisperer Offline
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My two best friends hate me - December 10th 2011, 01:26 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't know what I did wrong. My best friend turned on me after twelve years telling me I only care about myself and I have never been there for her. I felt like I've devoted a lot of my time to being with her and I've told her I'm there for her. She told me I don't care because I didn't show up at her mom's funeral when she died four years ago. It was because I didn't think I could handle it which I told her but I don't think she believes me. Now I don't know if this has anything to do with her new boyfriend or not, but I've been crushed.

My other best friend I spoke with and asked if she was still my best friend. She replied, "Of course! I love you and I would never leave you! I'm always here for you." But then after cleaning up my facebook of my previous friend above, I decided to delete all my friends as family members, just because there were so many I hadn't spoke with and I decided I only wanted my real family listed as family. Anyway, she was offended and after several of my posts on facebook about being alone and feeling awful, she decided these posts were against her. After telling her time and time again they were about previous friend above and other family stuff, she proceeded to tell me how I've been mean to everyone and I'm a bitch.

I have been crying for days. I cut after a year and a half of self harm free. I couldn't stop screaming I was going to kill myself last night. I have pictured so many ways of killing myself. I simply can't take this anymore. I was never popular, and now my two best friends are gone. I don't even want to try to talk it out because they seem like they just don't want me. I didn't mean to do anything wrong. Someone please help me before I do anything stupid.


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Re: My two best friends hate me - December 12th 2011, 03:59 AM

Hugs! I get where you are coming from hun. I do think you should give your friends a little space then talk to them about how you feel. But I think the first thing for you would be talking to someone about how you feel right now (psycologist, parent, trusted adult, teacher). How you are feeling is very strong and could cause you much harm you don't want. I know it is hard to keep moving on when you feel like there isnt much out there but I know you will get through this and feel so much better. I hope that helped and you can always message me if you want to chat.


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Re: My two best friends hate me - December 12th 2011, 10:32 PM

Hey, I'm here for you ok? You know the good thing about best friends is they will come back to you. I know it seems bad right now, but it can't rain forever. I think you should talk to someone immediately. Try to talk to her some more in person. Maybe your friends are just going through a phase right now. Try to talk to them. Things get better, remember when you hit the bottom, the only place to go is up Hope this helped, I'm here to talk anytime.
   
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Re: My two best friends hate me - December 14th 2011, 01:23 AM

I'm sorry to hear about this. I think that you need to write your second friend a long letter explaining everything. Pour your heart out to her, and just leave nothing unsaid - then give it to her and walk away. See a letter is something someone will read, and most likely read a second time. So make sure when you write the letter you tell her how much you are sorry for offending her, how much you want her back, and tell her you are sorry for being a bitch (even though you might have not of been).

Sometimes, we just have to swallow and say, I'm sorry, I was a bit**, I was mean, and I was just going through a rough time. Were you mean, or a bit**? I have no clue but if you tell her that, she may be more open because you aren't in denial (from her perspective). So just agree with her, and say sorry.

As for the first friend, I would kind of do the same thing - but express how sorry you are for not being there when her mom passed. It seems like she stored up all that anger from the funeral, and she was going to explode eventually, it was just a matter of time. She may feel as if you weren't there for her, and you don't care about her (even though you do). So make sure you express your feelings and tell her you are sorry and you love her.

Communication is key in both these situations.

I hope all works out.

Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: My two best friends hate me - December 16th 2011, 01:08 PM

Thanks guys but honestly I don't think they'll be coming back to me. I haven't decided if I want to go after my second friend or not but definately not my first friend. And I wasn't a bitch at all, it was all just a misunderstanding for what I said. I have been talking to my school counselor and my therapist about this. They just found out I cut over it after a year and a half of SH free but thank God they won't be telling my parents. I think the letter is a good idea but I'm still not sure if I want her back yet. Because I'm afraid it will just happen again. Plus my first friend is still involved with this guy so I think she will not come back to me while she's with him at all. I've been a bit better after hanging out with my one close friend whose left, the big thing is now whether or not to go after my second friend. She's done this to me before and she's just siding with my first friend. Ugh I don't know! Thank you guys for your responses. I have a stable support system in my life right now which is good but sometimes I just like to hear from people who really understand what I'm going through rather then when they are just being paid to be there. Again thanks and I will keep you guys updated. I really appreciate the responses.
Alessa


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Re: My two best friends hate me - December 17th 2011, 01:04 AM

Hi Alessa, I'm glad to hear that you are seeking help, and that you have a better handle on things.

Ultimately you get to make the decision if you want to start the friendship up again, and only you can control what you do. I just wanted to let you know that I support you nor matter which way you decide to take, and will be here if anything arises that you need additional help on.

Please keep me updated.

Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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