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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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lovatoac Offline
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I don't want friends - January 16th 2012, 04:06 AM

I've been bullied my entire life and am now cyberschooled. I figure skate and do acting so I am social, but don't want friends. Everytime someone asks me to hang out I say no. Is this bad? I honestly don't wanna get over my fear, I just want to know if this is hurting me in the long run.

I do have one friend, but she lives 3,000 miles away in london.


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Re: I don't want friends - January 16th 2012, 04:18 AM

Honestly, it's in your best interest to make some friends. You don't need to make a ton. It's just a good idea to have a few close friends. When you go through things, it's great to have people who you can lean on. There's nothing wrong with having a friend in London. But, having someone that you can go on a coffee run or a sleepover with when you need to vent is awesome! Just try to reach out to people, okay?


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Re: I don't want friends - January 16th 2012, 04:19 AM

Yes, this will not only hurt you in the long run, but destroy you. You may be fine now, and it may stay that way for a few years, but when you get a job you need to be able to be friendly, and when you are older you need to be able to interact with others. You will need someone to talk to.

If you have no friends, then chances are you wont ever find a boyfriend - or in the long run a husband. If you have no friends, than in alot of cases you wont get a good job. If you have no friends, than you will be left alone, in the dark.

I know you don't want to get hurt. Don't want to get bullied, and lose friends. But sadly, this is apart of life. You will get bullied (in the work place. Fact: 1/3 workers are bullied). You will get bullied throughout life. You will also lose friends throughout your lifetime - but will gain others. My point is, as a teen you need to have friends. You need to gain the experience and then knowledge from having friends so that when you are older you already have been there and done that. I promise, the longer you wait to open yourself up to things and the world - the more it will hurt when you are forced to do it.






Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: I don't want friends - January 17th 2012, 03:39 AM

I understand the fear- but the end who are you suppose to talk to about anything?Friends have hurt me in the past and that's kinda the question I ask myself sometimes to force me into not isolating anybody who is nice to me.
   
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Re: I don't want friends - January 17th 2012, 04:01 AM

There are many health benefits to having friends - you're less likely to become physically ill, you're more likely to recover quickly following an illness, you're less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety, and you're even looking at a longer lifespan! It's one thing if you prefer to be alone more often than the average person, but it's another thing entirely if you decide to isolate yourself from people altogether (unless it's a professional/familial relationship).






   
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Re: I don't want friends - January 17th 2012, 04:21 AM

I personally don't find much use for friends. Although I keep some to fufill basic human interaction most of the time I simply prefer to be alone.

However when being home/cyberschooled like us it's far too easy to become a recluse. Especially since you're new to it. I've been this way in public school, I still am this way. You on the other hand seem to be going through "social withdraw" and you are literally withdrawing yourself from society. That is not a good sign at all. You need to keep up friendships. That doesn't mean everyday needs to be busy, but at least once every two weeks you need to get out and do something, anything at all.

Keeping friends your own age will help keep you grounded and keep your head on straight. If you decide to at any time sever all friendships you will find it very, very hard to adjust again, even if only a few months later you again try to make new friends.

- Justin



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Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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