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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
buttercup13 Offline
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i feel like running away from my family - January 20th 2012, 07:00 PM

6 years ago when i was 12 my sister had a kid (she was 16) then she had another and another and another now she has 4. A 6yr old, a 5yr old, a 4 yr old and, a two yr old. Ever since i was 12 I've practically been raising them my sister is always working and partying and she's never home me and my mom do everything recently my mom was diagnosed with high blood pressure and they told her she to take it easy because she's at risk of having a stroke so she told my sister she had to move out. now i live with sister and its even worse she's never home, she says she going to work then disappears for two or three days and i get on Facebook and i see pictures of her hanging out and/or partying with her friends and all i do all day is watch kids, cook, and clean. i dropped out of school when i was 16 because i was so behind in all my work because i was always missing school when my sister wouldn't show up and I'd have to watch the kids so my mom could to work. i want to go to college but i never have time to study for my GED because of the kids after they go to bed i have to clean then i go to sleep i have no time to study i don't have any friends because i have no time to go anywhere and now my sister's landlord said we have to get rid of my dogs but they're all i have. everything in me is saying run away from here but when i try to tell my sister I'm leaving she says if i go she wont have anyone to watch the kids she wont be able to work so the bills wont get paid so she'll get kicked out and she won't have anywhere to live so she'll have to give the boys to their dads and they wont see me or each other anymore because the dad of the first two kids hates my family and he hates the other dad too. The other dad lives 8hrs away from here so they'd grow up not seeing me my mom or their brothers. What should i do i feel so lonely and frustrated and im always crying and i get drunk and cut myself sometimes because i don't know what else to do. i love my nephews more than anything and i don't want them to be separated but i feel like I'm suffocating and all the while my sister gets to enjoy her life. and guess what she's pregnant again by a different guy.
   
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Re: i feel like running away from my family - January 20th 2012, 08:08 PM

I truly admire what you are doing for your nephews; however, it's clear that this lifestyle can't continue. If your mental health takes a turn for the worse, you'll be unable to raise these children... and where will that leave them? As harsh as this may sound, I think it's time to get the proper authorities involved. Call CPS (Child Protective Services) and explain what's going on. By disappearing for days at a time, your sister is guilty of child negligence at the very least. Chances are your sister will lose custody of her children (unless she's willing to make drastic changes), and they will either end up with the biological father or foster parents. I know this means the children will be sent away and possibly have to live with strangers. They may even be separated from each other. As unfortunate as that is, though, it gives them a CHANCE at a happier life. With the situation as it is now, it's only a matter of time before you burn out, and the children are left to take care of themselves without ANY adult supervision.


   
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Re: i feel like running away from my family - January 21st 2012, 01:20 AM

There's a reason that when you're on an airplane they tell you EACH AND EVERYTIME, "In case of emergency, place your mask on before placing it on child/other person." You've got to help you if you're ever gonna be able to help anybody else. Your sister needs to grow the f*ck up and you deserve to have a chance to do the same. You've done all you can do. IMO


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Re: i feel like running away from my family - January 21st 2012, 02:15 AM

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Originally Posted by PSY View Post
I truly admire what you are doing for your nephews; however, it's clear that this lifestyle can't continue. If your mental health takes a turn for the worse, you'll be unable to raise these children... and where will that leave them? As harsh as this may sound, I think it's time to get the proper authorities involved. Call CPS (Child Protective Services) and explain what's going on. By disappearing for days at a time, your sister is guilty of child negligence at the very least. Chances are your sister will lose custody of her children (unless she's willing to make drastic changes), and they will either end up with the biological father or foster parents. I know this means the children will be sent away and possibly have to live with strangers. They may even be separated from each other. As unfortunate as that is, though, it gives them a CHANCE at a happier life. With the situation as it is now, it's only a matter of time before you burn out, and the children are left to take care of themselves without ANY adult supervision.
I think you have a point about how this can't continue but i don't think i could ever call cps on my sister not because of her but because CPS took me away from my mother when i was 13 because my stepdad molested me since i was 10 they bounced me around for about a yr and in the end they just sent me back my stepdad never got charged they didn't do nothing to help me except mess me up even more for i was left with an aunt who made me feel so unloved that its where i first began cutting myself, my sister was only 17 so her and her kids were also taken away and me and my nephews were made to stay in a small room for most of the day by said aunt luckily my sister turned 18 a month later and her and the boys were allowed to leave. I wasn't so lucky and and i only saw my caseworker when he was dumping me somewhere new. I could never take the chance that my nephews would go through half the things i went thru when CPS was "helping" me. I appreciate your advice tho. Thanks.

Last edited by buttercup13; January 21st 2012 at 02:24 AM.
   
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Re: i feel like running away from my family - January 21st 2012, 10:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
I truly admire what you are doing for your nephews; however, it's clear that this lifestyle can't continue. If your mental health takes a turn for the worse, you'll be unable to raise these children... and where will that leave them? As harsh as this may sound, I think it's time to get the proper authorities involved. Call CPS (Child Protective Services) and explain what's going on. By disappearing for days at a time, your sister is guilty of child negligence at the very least. Chances are your sister will lose custody of her children (unless she's willing to make drastic changes), and they will either end up with the biological father or foster parents. I know this means the children will be sent away and possibly have to live with strangers. They may even be separated from each other. As unfortunate as that is, though, it gives them a CHANCE at a happier life. With the situation as it is now, it's only a matter of time before you burn out, and the children are left to take care of themselves without ANY adult supervision.
I couldn't agree more! You should totally call CPS! All the best, stay strong! xx
   
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