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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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sensitiveguy123 Offline
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No "real" friends - March 11th 2012, 12:30 AM

I'll get right to the point.

Basically, I feel like I have no real friends. Every day after school and on the weekends, I just sit at home, doing nothing, basically being a loner. I have a ton of friends in school, that act all buddy-buddy with me, and we're actually really good friends but as soon as we get out of school, no one ever invites me to go anywhere and or to hang out or anything like that, even if they are literally 5 minutes away from my house. It sucks going on Facebook and seeing all your "friends" put up pictures of them at a park that's 5 minutes away from your house yet no one thought you contact you to invite you or anything like that.

The thing that bugs me the most is that it's not like we're just "friends" in school. The friend group I hang out (me, another dude and 1 girl) are all pretty close and have been close all year but still, they don't EVER ask me to hang out. They'd ask to be my partner in class, they're trying to start up conversations with me, etc. all things that "good friends" do, yet outside of school it's like we don't know eachother.

Is there any way I should go about this? Last time I hung out with one of my "friends" outside of school was when we both snuck out in the middle of the night and met up, but that was 3 months ago. I try to ask someone to hang out, but it's always some excuse, "I'm going over X's house", "I'm going to Y", "I have football practice", "I have a wrestling meet", etc.

We don't even talk outside of school. Not on Facebook, not through texting. If I'm ever bored and want to talk to someone about anything really, I have to start the conversation since they never start the conversation with me.

Help. This is bugging me so much!
   
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Re: No "real" friends - March 11th 2012, 01:00 AM

Have you pulled each and every one of your friends aside and asked, "Hey, want to hang out this weekend?" or "Hey, what are you doing later today? Mind if I chill with you?" The thing is, with someone people, they WILL constantly blow you off and make excuses... but other people won't think to invite you to events unless you persistently ask them. It won't come to their minds right away, but once you start attending more and more events, they'll remember to give you a call. Until then, you'll have to be the pursuer.

If you've literally done this on several occasions with every single friend, and they've always blown you off, then I guess it's time to start meeting new people. They seem nice enough to hang out with at school, but I agree that it's good to have friends you can see outside of school as well. Start talking to different people in your classes. Maybe you can have lunch with a different group of people once a week. Join a club/organization at your school and see if anything happens with fellow members.






   
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Re: No "real" friends - March 11th 2012, 06:46 AM

I totally get you my friends are the same way. I never go out with them but when I asked why I never gone with them they told me that they didnt realize I would want to go. Of course who knows if that's the reason , but robin is right you should step up and just keep asking them to hang out or meet new people I'm sit you will find great friends <3




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It at war with

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Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
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Re: No "real" friends - March 13th 2012, 11:14 AM

Yeah my friends used to be the same. Part of the problem could be that you've only hung out with your 'best' friends for a year. It took about 2 years for my friends to start inviting me to their gatherings and events. Also, I know you've tried to invite people to hang out and they've said no but you should try again, starting with the friends you're closest to. This will let them know you're good to hang out whenever, and that you actually want to chill. Sometimes people might not invite you because they don't know what you're response will be.

Just make it clear you're willing to hang out, and you should try to invite those 2 people your currently hang out with to any place you'd think they'd enjoy. Once you get those people under your belt, you'll start hanging out with other people and everything else will come gradually (like parties, gatherings, etc.).

Good luck! Carpe Diem.


Carpe Diem: Seize the Day/Moment. -Horace

Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered -Julius Caesar
   
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