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dani99 Offline
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Adults can be such hypocrites - March 11th 2012, 06:23 PM

Ok, so we have several rules in the house. No slamming doors, no eating in the rooms, no leaving lights on, no yelling in the house, ect.

Ok, all the time I see my parents leave lights on and water running. They scream in the house, and they slam doors and nearly break them. But it's A-ok if they do it because "they're adults" but that's a bunch of bullshit. Just because you have a kid doesn't automatically mean you have all the rights in the world just because "you're an adult".

And then they act like you murdered a person when you break one rule one time. Well, newsflash mother and step father: if you want your lame rules followed, set a better example and follow them yourself.

"Oh, but Dani, they are your parents and they can do what they want because they're older than you and BLAH BLAH BLAH"

I don't want to hear that. Because just because my mom is 20 years older than me and my step dad is like 31 years older than me doesn't mean a thing. They don't need to set down rules and break every single last one of them and think it's ok, but then scream and fuss and ground for months just because us children break a rule. (I got my door taken off for a whole month because I slammed it ONCE and my step dad slams his doors several times a week.)

Sorry, done ranting. -_-;;


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 11th 2012, 07:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dani99 View Post
Ok, so we have several rules in the house. No slamming doors, no eating in the rooms, no leaving lights on, no yelling in the house, ect.

Ok, all the time I see my parents leave lights on and water running. They scream in the house, and they slam doors and nearly break them. But it's A-ok if they do it because "they're adults" but that's a bunch of bullshit. Just because you have a kid doesn't automatically mean you have all the rights in the world just because "you're an adult".

And then they act like you murdered a person when you break one rule one time. Well, newsflash mother and step father: if you want your lame rules followed, set a better example and follow them yourself.

"Oh, but Dani, they are your parents and they can do what they want because they're older than you and BLAH BLAH BLAH"

I don't want to hear that. Because just because my mom is 20 years older than me and my step dad is like 31 years older than me doesn't mean a thing. They don't need to set down rules and break every single last one of them and think it's ok, but then scream and fuss and ground for months just because us children break a rule. (I got my door taken off for a whole month because I slammed it ONCE and my step dad slams his doors several times a week.)

Sorry, done ranting. -_-;;


It is completely okay to rant.
And I know what you mean about them being hypocrites, it really does suck.
Also, I got my door taken off too for a while a few years ago, that taught me a lesson too...
I understand why you would think the way you think, but unfortunately it is how it is. If you want to talk to your parents about it, then go ahead and do that, but chances are they will give you the same excuses all parents give.
I really love the whole "Becuase I said so" answer as to why we can't do something. I can understand not being allowed to do something but why is it so hard for parents to give an explanation?
Anyways, sorry for ranting here, I just wanted to let you know you are not the only one frustrated with this.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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dani99 Offline
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 11th 2012, 07:28 PM

I know. It would be easier on children and teenagers lives if parents weren't like this.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 12th 2012, 01:45 AM

You're right - your parents are hypocrites. Unfortunately, this won't be the only time you'll encounter hypocrites. For example, you will probably have a job at some point where your boss and/or co-workers are hypocrites. They'll break the rules or cut corners several times a day, but the one time you break a rule (accidentally) or cut a corner (for what you think is a good reason), someone will be all over you. In situations like those, you can either think, "This isn't fair, I get in trouble and they don't," OR you can think, "This isn't fair, but at least I can take pride in my job, knowing that I am doing the right thing by following the rules and performing my work correctly." It's all about your attitude. You can whine about how your parents are getting away with things "because they're adults," or you can think, "I have more integrity than they do."






   
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 12th 2012, 01:10 PM

I understand that, Psy. I mean, I don't complain to them about it and flat out refuse to do the job just because of it. I still follow the rules, like it or lump it. But I can't say the same about my baby sister. If they're going to act like this while she's growing up, she'll probably act like this too even with rules set down.

The only reason why I follow rules easy is because it's how I was raised before my mom was a hypocrite.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 12th 2012, 02:21 PM

Their house their rules. If someone uses my phone I don't want them to throw it the fact I throw it is irrelevant, this is exactly the same thing.
   
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 12th 2012, 04:02 PM

Dani, you're right that it would be best..certainly it would facilitate understanding and acceptance..if your folks set a good example here. And you're right to feel frustrated and see this as a double standard. But, I don't think it's hypocritical that they expect more of you than themselves. That explanation can just easily reinforce dismissing their expectations of you.

I think the issue here is that they haven't explained to you why the rules are different for you. In the absence of that explanation, it can seem confusing and arbitrary. But, that doesn't mean they are. It's not so much about the behavior they're attempting to limit, it's about the underlying reason the behavior is demonstrated in the first place. And there's a world of difference when you do it and they do.

There are many things that adults can do that we don't typically allow minors to, think about it. And although it might seem 'Unfair' or 'Hypocritical', it's more because of an unreadiness to really do them. It's a developmental thing. Yeah, I know, every kid hates that explanation, but childhood is about 'growing up'..that's not condescending, it's about actual physical development of the brain and it's abilities.you're not quite there yet, you haven't mastered a lot of abilities just yet.


So, the rule against door slamming or leaving the lights on isn't so much about just that (although it does make for a more peaceful home environment for all), it's about learning and practicing the developing deeper tasks of self control/impulse control, judgment, and so on. These are just ways of practicing new skills that are just being developed. Supposedly, by the time they get to be your parents, they've already mastered them, so when they do it, it's not the same thing.

So, the frustration you feel is understandable, but address it not so much by dismissing the validity of their limits, but ask them to explain the reasons.


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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 13th 2012, 04:56 PM

My parents do the same things and more it is so annoying -_-




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dani99 Offline
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 14th 2012, 11:19 PM

Technically they are hypocrites. Because by definition, a hypocrite is someone who has certain values or beliefs for others but don't go by what they say themselves.


Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3


   
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Re: Adults can be such hypocrites - March 14th 2012, 11:25 PM

Rules =/= values or beliefs
   
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