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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Tigereyes Offline
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Need help with a friend's friend - March 18th 2012, 12:28 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

One of my best friends goes to a different school than me. She has finally begun making a few new friends (she was very shy and still is when she first meets people). I met one of her new friends that she has become good friends with at her birthday party. He seemed to like all of my best friend's friends except me. He was joking with all of them but I felt excluded since he wouldnt say much to me. If he said anything, it was that I was annoying or something. I think he was joking, but a couple of times that night he told me and only me to kill myself. I'm not suicidal and never have been but I was still really hurt by this. I've suffered from depression for a while so it made me feel even more hated and I wanted to cut. Maybe I'm overreacting, but this really bothers me. It happened a few weeks ago but whenever I hear his name, all I think about is how he told me "Just go kill yourself". I haven't told my friend about how this made me feel because I'm afraid it will upset her. She always gets annoyed and frustrated now when I'm down because she feels helpless. She is also depressed and has been so lonely since we don't see each other all the time. I don't want her to think I'm jealous of her friend or think I'm overreacting or make her feel guilty for us him and I not getting along. But I can't be around someone that tells me things like that I should kill myself. It wasn't just once but countless times. I've also been abused in my past so being told negative things like that or anything negative about myself is triggering to me. Could someone please help me?


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Re: Need help with a friend's friend - March 18th 2012, 12:35 AM

I think it's important to tell your friend that you have no desire to hang out with or hear about her new friend, because of some things he said that affected your mental well-being. If she wants more details, she can ask for them, or you can leave it at that and hope she will respect your wish to leave him out of the picture.

For the record, you did not overreact at all - what he said was completely inappropriate, even if he meant for it to be a joke.






   
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Re: Need help with a friend's friend - March 19th 2012, 10:28 PM

You have not overreacted at all and should not feel guilty about your feelings. What he said to you is never okay, even if he supposedly was joking around. Your friend should at the very least be informed that you do not feel comfortable being around this person or hearing about him. Help her better understand the situation, so she is aware of what has happened and why you are acting a certain way. She can choose to continue being friends with him, just as you can choose to be away from him. You do not need to be around that negativity. Never let anyone bring you down; rise above him.
   
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