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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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marieruby Offline
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Unhappy I'm a horrible daughter. - April 2nd 2012, 12:07 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I saw my mother cry today. She was crying about being over weight.

Let me interject really quick, my mother is amazing. Even though sometimes I can't stand her, she's my beautiful strong and caring mother and I love her even after all the fights I have with her.

Even so, we haven't had the easiest or nicest life but I'm okay with that. She isn't though and I think she's finally broke down today. She told me that the reason she's crying is because she believes the reason that everyone disrespects her and the reason she hasn't "been the best she could be" is because she isn't skinny. I just think she's been too stressed out and I'm the reason for most of her stress. We yell at each other everyday, I don't like helping her around the house and we're both tired at the end of the day. I told her how amazing she was and everything and all she said to me was "you only care when you see me crying. Watch, in a few hours you're going to go back to your own world. I was to deal with this myself since I haven't found help from anyone else".

I really don't know what I should do. I told her I'd run with her but she rejected it because I told er I didn't want to before and that I'm not being genuine. I really don't want her to think it's all her fault. I'm kind of depressed myself so this is all hard; How am I supposed to help her if I can't even help myself?
   
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Re: I'm a horrible daughter. - April 2nd 2012, 12:46 AM

First of all, I don't think you're a horrible daughter. You're making the effort right now and that's important. If you want your mother to believe you, then make sure you're being genuine in your actions. Do you actually want to go running with her, or are you saying it because you feel bad? If she doesn't believe what you're saying because of your day to day actions, then change what you're doing everyday. Show her that you love her and that you think she's amazing.
   
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Re: I'm a horrible daughter. - April 4th 2012, 04:42 AM

Prove her wrong by offering support every day, regardless of how you're feeling. If you're feeling depressed, reach out to her, vs. pushing her away or starting a fight. Family member should come together when they're struggling. Your mom, for whatever reason, doesn't trust that you'll consistently be there for her... and although the depression will certainly affect your mood at times, you CAN still hold on to that desire to have a relationship with her, even if you can't give her 100% all the time. If you keep reaching out to her every day, then she'll begin to trust you again and be more receptive to your offered support.






   
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