Yogi tries his hand at cooking.

[Tyr.]

Yes, I have more pressing matters. I have posts and shit to do with a number of far more serious topics, but they can wait till I have a computer. Cuz Yogi has gone all trendy, bitches. It's iYogi now. And I have a beer in my other hand. So chill, because I want to teach you how to cook.

Believe it or not, I CAN cook. I have a great quote on the versatility of man (includes cooking) but I can't figure out how to copy and paste on this goddamned thing. Nonetheless, every man should have a bunch of killer recipes under his belt. This first one is Shrimp & Bacon Linguine. It is not scientific. Half the time I improvise, and make shit up. It works.

Shit you need:
- 1/2 pound of bacon. Round down with measurements.
- 1 pound of shrimp. No shells, thawed.
- 1 pound of linguine (it's like spaghetti pasta)
- 2 beers. Original recipe called for a cup of good wine. I use a cup of Tiger beer, then drink the rest while cooking.
- 2 cloves garlic (crushed. Garlic paste works too)
- couple handfuls argula/rocket leaves
- salt & pepper
- olive oil
- Parmesan cheese

Cut up the bacon into little pieces (stamp sized) and get it cooking.

Meanwhile, get the linguine under way. Should take about 12min, but read your packet.

When bacon is done, throw in a few tablespoons of olive oil, the beer, garlic, some salt & pepper over the top of the bacon. Let it simmer and cook away for a while, letting everything soak and the shrimp cook properly.

When the pasta is done, drain the water and throw the pasta into a LARGE serving bowl. It's a lot of food, don't use anything small.

Throw the argula over the bacon and shit. Then pour everything from that frying pan over the pasta.

Drizzle even more good olive oil over the top. Don't be a stingy little shit. Then you want to grate, as fine as possible, Parmesan cheese over the top. Give it a light coating.

You better be well into that second beer by now. Good. You need it for this part. You now need to evenly combine everything. Easier said than done, it's the culinary equivalent of napalm. Sticky, oily and incredibly hot. Figure something out. I just down the beer and get in there with bare hands. Toss that shit quick, then get out and run your hands under cold water. It's all for the greater good.

Eat.

If you are a lonely fucker like me, and the only one to cook for, keep the leftovers in the fridge. Just add some cheese and oil microwave.

Voila.

You can now cook like a boss. Use it to impress when you have lady friends over.

- Yogi

[better-than-ecstasy]

This sounds really good, but I don't cook. But I think I will attempt just for this. Cuz I wanna cook like a boss! Thanks for sharing!

[Dr.Bobby]

Knowing Yogi uses olive oil means my respect has gone up for him immeasurably...