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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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What am i really feeling - March 9th 2013, 04:08 AM

I lost my great grandfather about 2 years ago and i feel like i shouldnt still get as emotional as i do but the thing is. He had been sick sense i was born so almost every memory is my family takeing care of him he had heart problems, alzhimers, and towards the end of his life he broke his hip and ended up with sun downers (thats what we reffured to it as i have no clue if that is a real thing) but anyways my family was always taking care of him so i started loseing my mom i understood that she had to be there for him but at the same time i hated everyone in my family and i feel terrible for saying that but its true. when he died i dont know what was the hardest part actually loseing him or the fact that i didnt know him before he got alzhimers and when he was this amazing guy that everyone was telling me about. When people talk about him before he got sick i get really pissed and upset because i didnt get to meet that man. I wanted my family back but not by him dieing... i honestly have no idea why i even wrote this i guess if anyone else has ever went through this how do you deal with the way your feeling
   
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Re: What am i really feeling - March 9th 2013, 06:28 PM

First off, I'm really sorry for your loss.

Secondly, I was in a similar situation (but not identical). My great grandmother, was really old when I was born, but we would make routine trips to her house on a weekly basis. She couldn't move well, so she had to be taken care of. Anyway, she would give me hugs, she would hand me candy, and she would attempt to talk to me (she has a hard time talking). I was very young at the time (maybe around 6-7), and my family got a phone call saying she is passing away. We went over to her house, all gave her last hugs, except I was too scared to even go near her. I didn't give her a hug. I didn't say goodbye to my own great grandmother. 1 hour later she passed away. I regretted it for a long time. But I know she forgives me, and I know she knows I was scared.

I learned to move on from my regret, and I learned that I cant change the past. I cant make myself go back and give her a hug. You cant make yourself go back and 'know' your great grandfather. So with that being said, you have to accept how things are, and learn to cope with them. Things happen for a reason.

Take care of yourself.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: What am i really feeling - March 19th 2013, 09:28 PM

I agree with what Chris said above. They're isnt away you can know your great grandfather before he was sick, but you can sometimes maybe listen to the stories about how he was. This is some peoples way of coping and it could also help you get some of your feelings out. If you want to talk about it you can message me anytime.
   
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