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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Not a n00b
XxXLostAndBrokenXxX's Avatar
Name: Kayla
Gender: Female
Location: Minnesota

Posts: 81
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: February 8th 2013

great grandfather - June 6th 2013, 08:09 AM

my great grandfather died two years ago and it still makes me tear up just to hear his name. He had many health issues which included alzhimers he had it since i was born. He wasnt even supposed to live long enough to see me live and i know this sounds terrible and maybe makes me a awful person but a small part of me wishes he would have passed before i was born like i said its a terrible thought but every memory i have clearly of him is when the alzhimers were really bad and he didnt even know my name half the time. Everyone in my family is always talking about all the stuff he did and i hate to hear stories about him because everyone else remembers doijng stuff with him like my brother and him used to always do stuff together and he remembers it perfectly but me i only rember little slivers of stuff we did together. Theres nothing i can do about feeling this way either because like i said i can hardly hear his name without getting upset i dont know how to deal with this and i cant even talk to me family about it because then they tell me things he used to do and i get upset and angery that i dont remeber him as the man they are discribing.

sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.
I believe that we all fall down sometimes
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Kayla Christine.
Age: 25

Posts: 3,076
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Join Date: June 15th 2010

Re: great grandfather - June 7th 2013, 12:12 AM

Kayla, (wow its weird to say my own name) I know its hard, as I lost my grandfather last year. He was 94 years old and really gone in the brain too. I think you should tell your family how you feel about it upsetting you; I am sure they will be able to help you deal with all of it. I know you say you can't talk to them about it, but I think it will really help you if they do. Tell them that it hurts to hear all the memories they remember, and you don't. I am sure they will understand and stop talking about it around you.
I really hope things start to look up for you. It might be hard now, but it gets easier.
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grandfather, great

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